Cough Syrup

Chapter 2: Ten Years of Agony

"The day I came into this world was the saddest day of my whole life. What is the point of creating a life that is only there to end? Life is short, and pointless, and not worth anyone's time. The day I was born was the day I was destined to die. My mother was a very small and fragile woman, sickly from a young age, who was supposed to have a .5% chance of ever having children. This, I'm sure, for any rational human being besides me would be absolutely devastating. She was desperate to have a baby, and to provide a family for my father who had always sought one. When I was conceived, my mom called it her 'life time miracle'. She had always said that people only get one miracle in their whole lifetime, and I was hers. Born healthy and strong, I was the perfect child. But with my birth, came my mothers suffering. I left her body damaged so that she couldn't have another child without endangering its life, and she became a bedridden ill. At the age of six, my mother conceived my little sister. She was 23 days in when the doctors discovered she had anencephaly. It was a still birth. When I turned seven years old, I came home from school early on a half day by the bus. Mom was getting a checkup with the doctor and would be gone all day while they monitored her like they regularly did. When I walked in the door I heard loud cries from my mothers bedroom and when I walked to the door, and quietly asked 'daddy..? Are you ok?' I heard two gasps and looked up to see a woman on top of my father. He made me swear to 'keep your little mouth shut brat or I'll make sure you regret it'. In second grade, at eight years old, I was bullied often. I would stay in the classroom for lunch and recess, crying because the other kids were huge assholes. Of course, at the time, I couldn't even comprehend what being an asshole was. But you get my point. The bullying continued and even got worse as I turned nine, and when my mom had to come pick me up one day from school because I was too upset she asked what was wrong and crying heavily I blurted out, 'All the kids are mean and calling me a skeleton because I'm too skinny and they say I'm ugly, and an ugly duckling-and-and-I can't stop having dreams about that woman Daddy was crying with!' Shit. I did it then. I didn't know, but the second I said that my mother turned around and drove straight to my grandma's house, and later filled out divorce papers. At the age of ten, the bullying was so bad I had to change schools. Absolutely no one knew me there, and that was the way I liked it. That was the year I met Zach. That was also the year my mother got full custody over me after my dad refused to take care of his betraying daughter when I was in his care."

As I was typing, my phone began to buzz in my pocket, blasting Bullet by Hollywood Undead.