My Story Isn't Over

Chapter 7

*WARNING: This next chapter contains sensitive content pertaining to rape. If this is a sensitive subject matter for you it may be best to skip this chapter. And remember, if you or someone you know has been raped or sexually assaulted speak to someone you trust, there are many out there who will listen and can help you heal.

     "Look what you made me do..." I heard Taylor Swift proclaiming on my television as my eyes fluttered open. My head felt heavy and groggy from all the Prosecco. How long had I been passed out for? The clock told me not very long at all, it was only half past nine. I wondered if our 'guests' were still here. I stumbled to my bedroom door and tried to open it, forgetting I had locked it. I giggled as my fingers clumsily unlocked the door and opened it. I could still hear music coming from downstairs. Dam, still here.
I debated on going downstairs to say goodbye. I decided against it, seeing as how I was not even sure I would make it down the stairs at the moment. Plus, I reasoned, if my mother had not come looking for me yet, she most likely would not do so. I did decide however, that I had waited long enough to get out of these awful clothes, I was ready for this day to be over and the alcohol still flowing through my veins told me I did not care at all what my mother had to say about it. I stumbled back into my room, closing the door behind me.
With eyes barely open I grabbed a t-shirt and shorts that were on the chest at the foot of my bed. I left my white shirt and floral skirt on the floor where I had let them fall, I would put them in my laundry tomorrow. Right now all I wanted to do was pass out and forget these people were ever in my home... at least until next year when I would surely have to deal with them again. Perhaps next year I could get into college early just to avoid these people. Who are you kidding Nia, you are going to be stuck going to community college, I thought bitterly. I threw myself back on my bed as my eyes fell to darkness.
      My eyes had barely closed when I thought I heard my door open. It was probably just my mom checking in. I squeezed my eyes shut tight, hoping that if she saw I was sleeping she would let me be and not drag me out of my room to say goodbye to anyone. My eyes still squeezed shut, I waited on bated breath for the sound of my bedroom door to close, so I may relax at last and put this day behind me. The alcohol running through my veins seemed to only heighten my anticipation and the seconds that ticked by felt like hours.
     After a few moments I did hear my bedroom door close, but I heard something after it closed too, breathing. Was my mother watching me sleep? No, it did not sound like her breathing nor something she would do. But who? I just laid in my bed, unmoving and still squeezing my eyes shut tight, too scared to open them. Who was in my room? I listened as foot steps came closer to where I lay. Then I felt my covers being moved from off of my body. I could not take it any longer, I opened my eyes. From the light of the television I finally saw who it was.
     "Grant? What the hell are you doing in here?"
     "Oh, so you are awake." Grant said, his voice slurred. Apparently I was not the only one that had been drinking the Prosecco.
     "I am awake now that you woke me." I sat up in my bed.
     "Well, I wanted to talk to you." Grant sat on my bed.
     "About what?" I questioned him. This guy never talked to me unless it was an underlining insult.
Grant reached his hand over then and ran his fingers up my thigh. What the hell was going on with this guy. I sat frozen. "The girls tell me that your new boy toy was very rude to them." I backed my body up further towards my head board. So the girls had said something, and now Grant was here to... what? To threaten me?
"No," I protested. "They tried to hit on him and he denied them and told them that he is in love with me."
"Hmm, in love with you huh?" Grant now looked me in the eye for the first time since he had entered my bedroom. By the light of the television his eyes looked hollow and without emotion. "Well, we shall see about that." My vision still a little blurry from all the drinking I tried to focus. What the hell was that supposed to mean? What was the point of this ambush anyway?
"What do you want Grant? You want me to apologize to the girls? Fine I will, now go away."
     "I just wonder how in love your precious boyfriend is going to be if he knows the truth about you."
     "What truth is that?"
"That you are just a dirty slut, like every other girl."
"I am not," I protested. "He is the only guy I have ever even been with." I furthered my argument. What was Grant getting at here?
His look seemed to shift then, a darkness falling over his steel blue eyes. "Well then," Grant went on, as his hand returned to my thighs. Now his fingers pressed into my thigh, putting pressure there and hurting me.
     "Owe." I tried to push his hand away, which only made Grant smile a dark and sinister smile. My stomach felt queasy. Grant would not actually hurt me, would he?
     "How is your precious boy toy going to feel about you fucking your cousin?"
What?! This was worse than I could have ever imagined. What the hell was Grant talking about? Him? I would never sleep with him, or any of the others. This guy was clearly delusional. "Oh," he moved closer now. He was truly starting to scare me. Then with his next sentence, I knew I was in trouble, but I did not know what to do about it. "So, you are not going to tell him about us?"
"What are you talking about Grant? You are crazy." I tried to move off of the bed, but I only managed to slip onto the floor with Grant on top of me. No! Grant laughed.
     "Eager to get to it I see." I was now trapped under his large body. Forget the fact Grant stood at 6'2", almost a complete foot taller than me, he was solid muscle. "No," I protested, but my voice was small and weak.
"If you call for anyone, I'll tell them you seduced me. You know your own mother won't even believe you, she is too busy panting after my family and our money." I trembled now, a single tear silently falling down my cheek, because he was right. "So this," Grant said this as he unfastened his pants and revealed himself as I turned my head away, but he pressed himself against my body and I could feel he was hard already. "This is going to be our little secret."
Grant tore at my shorts now, and I laid there on my bedroom floor trapped. I could not believe this was happening to me. It is one of those things no one ever thinks could happen to them, and when it does it feels like a living nightmare. I turned my head from side to side in a panic, tears now soaking my face. What could I do? I was trapped and no one would believe this was not my fault. As Grant's hands roamed every inch of my body I tried to think of anything else. I thought of summer days, being with my friends, Jake... I tried to picture Jake now. Even as Grant entered me, pumping inside me, growing sweaty and his breath growing more and more labored, I tried to picture Jake. But this was not Jake, because Jake was gentle. Grant was not, Grant was a monster. This monster was inside me, and worst of all, that is where he released himself. I would forever feel like he was in me, and he was right, Jake would never want me again if he found out. My body grew numb, as if detached from myself. Even as he stood up I could still feel the weight of him there, as if a stain impossible to remove.
     "You tell anyone, and I will just have to repeat my lesson," Grant said as pulled his pants up, leaving my now damaged body limp and broken on the floor.