Under The Alpha's Claws

Chapter 4

"What if we talk to him, and let him know that we won't stand for it anymore?" His quiet, soft voice places a heavy weight on my heart.

"He won't accept that. It'll just anger him more."

"What if we agree to go back if he doesn't abuse us anymore," he suggests.

"He'll say yes, but he won't keep his word. It'll just be another way to control us and keep us under his claws."

"What if-"

I cut him off. "Luca, he won't change. Nothing we do will stop him." His sad eyes stare at me, giving me the urge to give up and lie instead. I keep going. "If we go back, he'll hit us again."

"He doesn't..." He trails off.

I sigh. "I know he hits you. You can't deny it."

Defeat smooths over his features.

"I saw it with my own eyes," I tell him, watching the shock takes over his expression. "I learnt about your abuse the night I left."

I explain the whole story to him. For three years, I thought I was Cassian's only victim.  The night I left, I discovered the awful truth.

I went looking for Cassian and found him talking with Luca. Staying hidden, I listened to Cassian blame Luca for the death of Violet—an eleven year old, newly transformed wolf—during a hunt, even though I knew it had been the order Cassian gave that got her killed.

"You should have been with her," he growled at Luca. Then, I heard the hit. A thump. I should have jumped out of my hiding spot to defend Luca, but shock and fear had frozen me to the spot.

"I'm sorry," Luca had said in a small voice.

"I don't want t hear sorries, I want you to help me take care of the pack." I peaked around the corner to see Cassian cross his arms. "Now, go back to your room."

Luca began walking towards me, so I snuck away, but not before I heard Cassian's words. "Remember to take care of that and get some sleep so it heals by morning."

It was those words that took me back to when Cassian first started hitting me. He had told me the same thing. It made me realise two things: I'm not the only one in the way of his hand, and it's not the first time Luca has seen this side of Cassian.

"It's the reason I left," I told him. "I told myself it was okay because it was just me taking the abuse, but when I found out he had been abusing you too, I knew things were only going to get worse."

He let the silence take over for several seconds until he asks, "How bad did he hit you?" His sad, puppy dog eyes peer up at me through his lashes.

A lump forms in my throat at the thought of having to say it out but I know he's only looking for comfort and someone to understand. "The worst time," I say, forcing the lump down, "he broke my nose and my eye socket, caused several ribs to crack, paralysed me from the hips down, and definitely gave me some internal bleeding."

His wide eyes and slack jaw makes it harder to continue.

"It took me two weeks to fully heal. He never let me leave our room during that time and told everyone I had left for a mission."

Though I thought it to be impossible, his eyes widen further and he sucks in a breath as realisation settles over him. "You mean the one six months ago about finding the two newly transformed wolves he heard about?"

"Yeah," I answer, looking away from him, all of a sudden ashamed for some reason.

"Mine were just a few hits every now and then that I believed I deserved," he says, copying my shameful demeanour and tone. "Nothing like that."

"It would have gotten there. That's how mine started. A few pushes and knocks that could be brushed off and forgotten about."

He stares at his feet.

"Enough to give him satisfaction," I continue, "but not enough for you to raise the alarms. And over time, it gets worse but he does it slow enough so you don't really notice it happening."

He goes quiet. I wish I could comfort him right now, but I'm still holding my side together and struggling to breath and talk, so I'm not going to try to sit up.

"He would beat you at night, wouldn't he?" he asks, breaking the silence and stopping my heart from beating for a second. He doesn't look at me while he talks. "That's why he ordered everyone to never disturb you two after nine pm."

I don't answer him. I have a feeling he's not looking for an answer. He knows the answer already.

"And it was always at night so it could heal by morning." When he looks back at me, his expression changes. The sadness and emptiness mostly vanishes and something more stable takes its place. His eyes flick down to the hand clamped over my wound. "You need to sleep," he says, jumping to his feet. He looks unsure, staring down at me, before saying, "You should shift."

I would rather sleep in my human form.

"It will help you heal faster," he continues.

I don't want to sleep as a wolf. It's not too bad, but I've always preferred to sleep as a human. But Luca's right. I'll heal much faster as a wolf, and I might need all the strength I can get in case I need to fight. It could be my only shot at surviving.

He helps me to remove my clothing so I don't rip a second set to shreds tonight.

The pain on my side makes shifting more difficult than usual. Luca stands to the side, watching, understanding the pain I'm in.

I release a long sigh and reax as soon as I'm in my second body.

"You can sleep in my bed if you'd like," I speak into his head.

"Alright. Thank-you." He leaves only to return a moment later with the spare blanket I keep at the end of my bed. Unfolding it, he tosses it up and lets it settle down on top of me. "I'm sorry," I hear inside my head, "for..." He trails off, glancing down to my bloodied side.

"It's alright," I tell him. "I forgive you. You didn't have a choice then. But now you do."

"Still, I-"

"I forgive you," I repeat, cutting him off.

He gives me half a smile before walking towards my bedroom. "Goodnight," he says before he disappears through the doorway.

"Goodnight," I reply, and I drift off into a disturbed sleep.