Did I really?

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Did I really mean to hurt you? No. Nor did I mean to fall apart so quickly when you said goodbye. What I thought was one thing was actually another. And then you started to twist my words making me sound like the bad guy. I only wanted to love you forever. To show you that you weren't alone in this horrible cruel world. And instead, you pushed me away, you pushed me away so fast I didn't have time to say goodbye. You just shut me out. Now I see you, and it's like... It's like everything we once had, the secrets, the fun, it's all a waste. And it kills me to ever think about you that I have to resort to the bottom of a bottle, or paying people for sex because I'm so depressed. Is this what you want? Pain is only temporary but suffering is forever. You told me that. But did you ever realize that you've done me wrong? Without a simple sorry. Or goodbye. It was all my fault. And for that, I'm sorry. But honestly, was it my fault? Did I really do the things you claim me to do? I don't want to get mad at you but every time you bring up that fault, it makes me think that you don't really like me. That this friendship could never be a real thing. And then it reminds me that I am a monster, because how could I mess up so badly that people decide to run away and never come back. Did I really make you do that? Because if I did, I'm sorry But I need to stop saying I'm sorry. Because I'm not. I'm sorry I lose you yes. But I'm not sorry that you decided that I was the enemy. I housed you. I sheltered you. I gave you my love and my life. And instead, when things got tough. You turned away...without even another thought, you turned away and was gone forever... So does that mean we aren't on for what we talked about originally? Was that one fault that bad that you had to look at me like I'm a monster to forget how happy we were? If it is. Then I'm sorry, not for me. But for you tags. For you.

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⏰ Last updated: Mar 24, 2015 ⏰

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