𝐈 𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐃 𝐓𝐎 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔- 𝐉𝐔𝐍𝐆𝐊𝐎𝐎𝐊 𝐅𝐅√

#3

I turn around, trying to find the right position for me to fall asleep. Jungkook's bed is so big maybe it's because I never went to his house, his house looks bigger than he describe to me.

I open my eyes and sees the same mural on the ceiling.

A deep thought, I deeply think about my own happiness. How do I make myself happy?

Reaching my hand to my phone, I quickly dialed his number.

"I loved you."

"Y/n.." His sad voice whispers on the other line and I could only imagine, him trying to hide this conversation from his mom.

"But I know you will never love me back." The tears fall down to the soft pillow, my lips quivers as more and more emotions comes in. the heavy feeling on my chest, push me deeper into the bed as I listen to jimin trying to calm me down.

"I'm sorry." He sounds guilty and I feel awful for doing this on the night before his wedding but I couldn't stop myself from wanting him again.

"You're my first love and I..."

"Y/n, I can never love you as the way you want me. I could only love you as my friend." He scolds me after I try again to ask him to be mine again.

I hold my hair tightly; I don't know what to do with this feeling. I don't like this feeling of being alone. I don't want to be abandoned again. I don't like the hole in my chest after our last break up.

Holding my breath, "I'm sorry." I wipe my tears and try to do the right thing again. I fucked up. I fucked up really bad. If I continue to be like a whiny girl, then my friendship with him will die.

"I'm really sorry... I really am happy for you, jimin."

"Thank you." He sigh heavily, I think he wants this conversation to end as soon as possible.

"She will be a really wonderful wife for you. Both of you deserves each other..."

"Thank you."

I know I want to keep our friendship but I don't think it's healthy for me to hold you like that.

"And I don't deserve you, jimin..."

"Wait, what do you mean by that y/n?" He worriedly asks. His voice gets higher than before.

"We can't be friends. Thank you for your caring heart but I really don't think it's okay for me to be just friends with you."

"Y/n... Talk to me. We can be friends. We'll make it. You don't have to this for me."

"No. I'm doing this for me, jimin. I'm doing this for myself." I took a deep breath, slowly the burden in my heart is starting to fade like dust as I keep pushing dark thoughts from my mind.

I could hear his harsh breathing, it's like he's thinking of words to make me turn back my words but I really want to forget about him. I want to forget him as my first love and start remembering him as my first friend.

"Did you just forget how many times I've asked you to cut the wedding off?"

"That's just..."

"I'm not being nice to either of us. Especially to your fiancé. I'm forcing my feelings on you and I'm forcing myself to be happy. Don't you think that's a bit fucked up?" I chuckled at my own thoughts.

I'm being toxic for both of us, especially to myself.

"It's not.."

"Jimin." I sternly called his name. In silence, I beg him to not plant fake hopes in my heart. He's only caring as a friend to friend but I know my lovesick head will think otherwise.

"It is." He defeatedly agrees.

"Goodbye, jimin." I end the call.

"You did well." I look up to see jungkook leaning on the wall. Smiling weakly to me, he walks closer before sinking himself next to me.

Staring into my eyes, "You can forget about your past now... " My tears continue to roll down and he keeps wiping them with a tight smile. " 'cause I'll make your future brighter now."

___________________

-To Be Continue-

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