Why Can't I Hate You?

CHAPTER 1

MICHELLE

I laid on my bed trying to get out from the influence of my everyday nightmare. My breathing heavy and my eyes tightly shut. My right hand burned and I flickered my eyes open to find my dearest mother pressing a very hot curling iron onto my wrist. A very sharp scream escaped my mouth from the pain and burn, but she held my hand in place giving me no space to recoil. Tears rolled down my eyes and I couldn't help but scream when she moved the hot iron rod just above my burnt wrist. I strove hard to get out of her grip shouting from the pain that my mother is inflicting upon me.

Dominic and Alex rushed into my room hearing loud noises.

"Vanessa! What the hell are you doing?" Cried Dominic. His hooted brown eyes held as much terror as mine. Alex, my step brother, froze beside his dad. Mom kept quiet, her eyes on my burnt hand, unflinching. She moved the iron further up. Dominic ran to grab her shoulders, pulling her away from me and snatching the iron out of her hands before throwing it to the corner of the room. I immediately sprung out of the bed away from my mother holding my burnt arm, weeping.

"Vanessa! Are you crazy? What were you doing?" Dominic yelled at her. She yanked his hands off her shoulders and looked at me with venom filled eyes.

"She reminds me of him. Punishment was necessary." Mom replied, before rushing out of the room.

I sat on the edge of my bed holding my burning arm. I don't believe my own mother treats me like shit. Punishes me for things I am not responsible for. I loathe myself. What is the point of all this? Going through all the pain, for whose benefit? It's of no use. Nothing.

Dominic sat beside me while Alex rushed downstairs. He took my hand in his, examining the burns. Rapid footsteps approached us and Alex rushed back into my room with a huge bowl filled with milk in his hands. Dominic dipped my hand into the bowl and an instant cool spread in my body. I exhaled loudly through my mouth in relief.

Alex sat down near my legs, pushing my brown hair behind my ears. I gave him a small smile which he returned with a bright one. "How is your hand now? Does it still hurt?"

I nod, "It's okay now."

"Let's get you to the hospital. " Dominic said, while getting up from the bed. I caught his hand.

"It's okay. I'm fine. The hospital is... unnecessary."

"Should I call a doctor then?" he urged.

"No, no. My hand is better now. Don't worry, I'll be all right." I assured him and he sighed in defeat.

"You need to eat something. Take your time and come down for breakfast, okay?" Dominic said, pushing a strand of hair behind my ears. I nodded in agreement. He gestured his son to come along. Alex bent down and kissed my cheek before they both left, shutting the door behind them leaving me alone in my room. I pulled my hand out of the milk bowl to examine the burns. Three dark brown bands on my arm looks hideously painful. But that was the least of the pains I was feeling right now. I couldn't help but recall everything that has happened. She burnt my hand while I was asleep just because I remind her of my father. My dead father. How can someone hate a person just because they died. Who chooses to die?

You do, said a voice in my head. Yes. I do wish to die. Do me a favor of death and spare all of this misery. And, if I continue to live here, I might just end up dead someday. Mom might herself kill me as a result of her hostility towards me. I need to escape this place before it eats me alive, but there is only so much I can do. I pushed the thought behind and went to washroom to freshen up for breakfast.

I couldn't help but thank Dominic and Alex for being there for me and stopping my mother from hurting me every single time. Being a stepfather, Dominic never made me feel like an outsider. He is the closest to me of all. Meeting new people and adjusting to a new environment has always been a bloody big deal to me. It usually takes me a bit longer than normal people to harmonize with others, but Dominic consistently made it easy for me. Our connection sparked instantly. He perhaps loves me equal to Alex. But when I really think about it, I don't see why anyone would love me. I mean, my own mother doesn't. I scoffed standing in front of the mirror staring at my tear stained reflection.