𝗚𝗼𝗱, 𝗶𝘁'𝘀 𝗯𝗿𝘂𝘁𝗮𝗹 𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 (Jesus x Izzy)

Cahpter One: Gatorade Wet Dreams

Izzy woke up and put on her clothes which were made for a small boy in elementary school. Then she put on her Sour CD because it's brutal out here.

She walked past her mother who was masturbating to the bible and slipped out of the door.

She walked to school and saw Shaela. She beat Shaela with a shovel and used the same shovel to bury her.

"Hey, Izzy!" Said her best friend, Raini Rodriguez.

"What do you want whore?" Izzy snapped.

"Did you hear there's a new kid coming today?"

"Yes, Raini, I listen to your podcast," Izzy rolled her eyes.

The two of them walked to school and Izzy sat down in acting class, waving to her other best friend, Mic :)

Everyone was waiting for the lesson to start when the new kid walked in.

"Fuck, not another one," Their teacher, Mr. Sikowitz speed-walked through the wall.

The new kid sat down beside Izzy and smiled, "Hi, I'm Jesus!"

"That's a fugly name," Izzy barked. She went on her phone and did anything but update her Wattpad story.

Eventually, it was lunch, and Mic followed Izzy, secretly plotting her murder.

"Wheres Shaela?" Mic asked, prepared to beat her up.

"Oh, I killed her," Izzy giggled like a little kid trapped in the Gorilla's enclosure at the zoo.

"Why, did she cheat on you?" Mic asked.

"Nah, but she's still a traitor."

The two continued walking until a hand tapped on Izzy's shoulder. It was Jesus.

"What do you want?" Izzy spit on him.

"I don't have any friends yet, can I eat lunch with you guys?" Jesus asked.

Mic glared at him. He had a sexy plan up his sleeve. "I'm gonna seduce and kill God," He thought.

"No, you can't sit with us, it's Wednesday and you don't have any lice in your hair." Izzy said.

They kept walking and saw Jarvis from Some Assembly Required.

"Ew, is that Jarvis from Some Assembly Required," Izzy asked.

They kept walking past Jarvis from Some Assembly Required while Izzy threw up in his eyes.

They sat down to eat lunch outside. Izzy's friend, Raini Rodriguez sat down with them.

"I was just reading this amazing book called Parapet by Missy Richards you should read it," she said.

Izzy farkled, "It wasn't that good tbh."

Mic pulled out a gun and shot her.