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009.
HIS EXPERIENCE WITH proper love wasn't always something he looked forward to. He hated the thought of being committed to someone for the rest of his life and wouldn't be able to experience the greater things in life. He didn't necessarily like the thought of spending each and every day with the exact same person.
Repeated actions just wasn't his thing. He loved the new and improved things. And that being moving on to one person and on to the next. That's why he always hits on girls whenever he got the chance. He would be with one only to break up with them a week or maybe a month after.
He'd get bored quickly and would just toss them aside like they didn't mean anything. And in his eyes, that was purely the case.
In honesty, he always wanted to experience true love. He himself would never admit to it. But deep down, he knew it was what he truly wanted. He wanted to be able to be with someone he could love and cherish with all his heart. Someone he could connect with. Even if he didn't like the thought of committing to one person at a time, he couldn't help but think about what actually loving someone felt like.
He wanted to know what it felt like to be with someone that will love him for him.
He wanted to know what it felt like to have someone to hold in his arms or be held.
He wanted to know what it felt like to love and be loved unconditionally.
He wanted to know what it felt like to kiss someone with passion. Not just those fake kisses. But a real one. A kiss that could cause a spark to rise within him.
He craved those feelings so desperately. Even if he didn't want to admit it. But he knew he couldn't deny those feelings. They would always eat him up, beginning him to find someone he could belong to.
He would always put up a face around everyone else. A painted picture that made people see him as slow-witted and simpleminded. A picture that made people see him as idiotic and vacuous. But in reality, he was none of those things.
He only put up that picture of himself just so someone could love him for him. He didn't want to feel judged or feel like an outcast. His "Brainless" demeanor was just a ruse. He just wanted to be loved and cherished just as the next person.
When you walked into his life, he felt an odd spark with you. It wasn't like all the others he's been with. In front of you, you always saw that goofy side of him. His idiotic and stupid side. But just like you did with everyone else, you didn't see him as anything different other than a human being.
That spark he so desperately craved for seemed to click when you suddenly came around. The spark that he's been wanting to experience for a long time. In his eyes, you were just absolutely perfect. He never thought the spark he wanted to feel would be with someone with the same gender as him as he never saw himself dating another guy. He always thought girls were his preference, but he began to rethink his sexuality.
