You Give Me Whiplash

Chapter 4

Chapter 4

It was times like these when I really wanted a normal mother.

I mean, most of the time, I was the most independent teenager out there- I’d lived with a lodger for the past six years, for Gods sakes. Only sometimes, say, when you were having very confused feelings about a certain neighbour, a nice maternal chat would have come in handy.

But where was she? Not here. No, she, along with my father, were halfway across the world in Africa, just as overly-committed to their work as always. I understood that all scientists had time-consuming jobs, but this was too far. Their current project was a study of apes in Africa, where they were trying to show poachers the animals meant no harm. It was coming up to the sixth year of the start of the study, one gorilla having died, their longest trip from home having lasted nine months.

So, instead of listening with care as her daughter chatted to her, she ignored said daughter’s calls, probably playing toddler games with some monkey in a field. And it wasn’t like Poppy and Sienna were a big help. The first one would probably tell me to make it quick, so she could get on with whatever else was on her list that day, and Sienna would... well, either she’d be totally suspicious, or she’d fall right back into that whore category I’d always put her in ever since her high school years and tell me to fuck him. (Yep, she was one of those girls.) Sometimes it seemed like Rex was my only ally around here; it wasn’t like a German Shepherd could give bad advice.

Just at that moment, the girl herself walked past, and I decided I might as well ask.

“Hey, Sienna?” I called, staying on my bed. I let her come to me, just like always; just in case she wasn’t at the other end of the trail.

She poked her head round the corner. “Yep?”

“Come here a sec’.” I motioned with my hands for her to come closer, and only spoke again once she’d sat next to me. “Say you, err, liked someone-” I glanced up at her, expecting laughter, only she looked completely neutral “- but you weren’t totally sure he was good for you- that he was completely trustworthy? What would you do?” I did think Axel was trustworthy, it just that I could barely tell her the truth, could I? (Not that I even knew the truth enough to speak it aloud.)

Sienna sighed. “Are you talking about Axel?”

I gaped. “How’d you know?”

“You couldn’t look at him, he couldn’t stop looking at you- that pretty much tells everyone you like each other,” she shrugged. Then, she smiled knowingly. “And I kind of know what you mean about him- he does give off that ‘bad boy’ vibe. Anyway, I’d say just go for it- if I was six years younger, I would.”

Yep, I thought as she left again, still kind of a whore.

Her advice didn’t really settle well with me, nor did it help me decide on what to do at all. On the one hand, Axel seemed dangerous, and not just in a ‘bad boy’ way. He seemed like the type of guy that broke hearts, and with those looks, it wouldn’t be hard to imagine that that was exactly what he did. And there was the matter of... well, I didn’t really know, but that was kind of the point. Mystery surrounded him and his friends and family, like they held a secret they couldn’t share with me yet. I’d only spent two days with them, and yet I already felt tied to them- connected.

And that was the other hand- how I felt about Axel. It was like a burning need deep within my gut that only got worse with time, only got worse as he’d said my name, as I’d talked to him. Everything about him appealed to me- his intrigue; his cocky grin; his heartbreaking beauty.

It seemed like it would be impossible to stay away from him, even if he was only just not a stranger, the idea itself paining me. I couldn’t imagine ignoring his light brown eyes, or never seeing those dark curls again. Even now, as I sat in my room, I thought of him next door and had to fight the urge to go over there. I. Just. Couldn’t. Stop. Thinking. About. Him.