Can I Have A Cigarette ?

{AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is made for fun and giggles only. This One-Shot also contains many spoilers, so beware. }

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Gi-Hun often wondered what would've happened, if him and Sangwoo met before the Games. What they would've talked about, if they would've had meals with eachothers moms like the old times, or if they would've acted as if they were complete strangers to eachother, awkward and with a certain stiffness to their voice.

He couldn't believe Sangwoo was with him, at this dreadful place. Spread out on the cold bed, trying to stay awake, afraid of time and the many snores he could hear, he thought about his childhood. How much fun they had, while playing what they called the "Squid Game". He would always win, of course. He was the oldest, and played it regularly with his friends at school.
It always made Sangwoo cry, how he would never win against Gi-Hun.

- "Hyung ! You always win ! It's unfair, you're way older than all of us !"

He used to cry out. And Gi-Hun would always respond with,

- "Wait till you grow a bit, and we'll see then how it goes. Maybe you'll win, with more practice !"

Sangwoo would always have a small smile plastered on his round face, after that. He was always happy when Gi-Hun reassured him. It weirdly didn't have the same effect, when the older man had to put some sense into him, when they came back from the glass game.

- "How come you're here, with me, a dimwitt, hm ?"

Oh, did Gi-Hun had trouble keeping his feelings in place. All he thought about was how he wanted to scratch yet take that angered face between his hands, placing it on his heart and never letting it go again. His nerves were also screaming for a cigarette, that has been for long forgotten about. But, what happened with Sangwoo in that game only made Gi-Hun's anxiety skyrock.

He scratched his forming beard, sighing. It was too much to handle, he just needed one right now. He slowly stood up, still foggy from exhaustion. Walking at the pace of a dying man, he knocked on the door two times, before saying;

- "I need to go to the bathroom, urgently. Really bad."

He knew that the crazy girl would hide her cigarettes under one of the toilet seats, hearing her conversation one time with Saebyeok. He knew exactly where to look, how many was in there, and how many he would need. It was now all his anyway, she did die afterall.

The guard let him in with precautions, telling him to be quick. He swiftly went to the cabin, taking what was now his property into his hands. He was now shaking from anticipation, he had been wanting to feel the smoke come into his lungs and kill them slowly for such a long time... It was like he couldn't remember what it felt like to smoke in peace, anymore. Without any stress or worries from someone looking at you with such disdain but curious eyes, behind their glasses.

One whiff in, and he had already left in his mind the flashy pink and green bathroom. He smiled, content. It felt like it was ages ago, that he ever felt his muscles relax that well.

Atleast, until he heard a knock on his door.

He panicked, suddenly flushing the toilet.

- "I'm not done yet !"

He waited a couple seconds, his feet now on the toilet seat. He heard steps, silence, steps again. Those few seconds felt like minutes, until he heard,

- "It's me. Open the door, hyung."

He slowly opened the door, dreading the moment he would see his face. But there he was, standing two meters away from him, covered in scratches and dried blood from other concurrents.

Gi-Hun slowly thought that Sangwoo weirdly looked more harsh without his glasses, even if he still had a lovely face.

- "Can I have a cigarette?"

- "What?"

-"I said, can I have a cigarette? I just... Really need one right now."

His body aching, waiting for another puff of the cancer stick he had forgotten, was slow but surprisingly didn't forget how to act infront of the demand of the younger man. He took a cigarette out of the box, and gave it to him, his fingers touching the other's palm. Sangwoo slided on the stall, sitting on the cold floor, next to Gi-Hun. He seemed as anxious as Gi-hun was minutes prior his first smoke, but his shell-shocked face went down after the cigarette went into his mouth.

They sat in silence, trying to enjoy eachother's presence, not thinking about the future. All they could hear was eachother's hot breaths, and the static of the fast paced lights on top of them. Not one dared to talk, ruining the moment. But then, Gi-hun couldn't contain himself.

- "Why did you do all of that ?"

- "Excuse me ?"

- "Why did you do all of that, Sangwoo ? To Ali, to the poor man on that glass Bridge. It just keeps happening again, and again. Would you kill me too, if you had the chance ?"

All sangwoo could do was release the smoke in his mouth, not daring to look into Gi-Hun's puppy face, who has now turned an ugly faded shade of white, from tiredness and exhaustion. Gi-hun waited for a response. He desperately waited. A few seconds passed, until it was a minute. Both would take some puffs, in hopes of forgetting what just happened. But Gi-Hun couldn't let go so easily. He couldn't let the man he used to see everyday after school, the man who was Ssangmun-Dong's prodigy, end like those bastards who created all of this already. He couldn't let the evil take over him, so he said, as if he was saying his last words,

- "I couldn't kill you even if I wanted to, Sangwoo. I just can't. We've been throu so much together. We've taken care of eachother when we had a cold, when we couldn't afford food for the week, even in the games."

He waited, closing his eyes, his breathing becoming harsh.

- "I can't lose someone I love, nor kill them. It isn't how I want it to end. I don't want us to end, like it happened with my daughter, my wife, or even my career. So please, don't-"

He felt something against his lips. He didn't even have the time to open his eyes, that the feeling had left, and so was Sangwoo. It felt like everything was going too fast, but at the same time too slow. Did Sangwoo just kiss him ? He took some time to breath in, to not let his stress and... happiness take over him. He was still in this for godsaken place for a reason, and what happened just now just confirmed a few things... But it didn't erase what was going to happen, next morning.

He rapidly left the bathroom, his white shoes not making a sound against the tiled floor, with a sudden energy he hadn't felt since his early twenties. He was going to get to the end of this, with Sangwoo.

Even if he had to pay the price of his own life.