𝐁𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐖𝐢𝐝𝐨𝐰 𝐈𝐦𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬 [ 𝐍.𝐑. × 𝐟𝐞𝐦 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 ]

𝐇𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐦𝐞 𝐜𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐞

request: Can you do an imagine of the female reader who's in an abusive relationship with her boyfriend and Natasha blames herself for not finding it out earlier. Maybe some fluff moments. And much angst at the end?

warnings: abusive and toxic content, angst, blood, curse words

author's note: I don't romantize any abusive and/or toxic relationships etc. If you are in one please try to get help from friends, family and hold on. I know how it feels so please don't give up and you can fight through it.

⧗

It was one of these long nights.
You were awake to scared to fall asleep his hand holding roughly on the side of your waist.
His cold breath mixed with alcohol scent brushed your face.
"I'm sorry", he mumbled drunkly clutching his hand tighter around you.
You weren't  able to do anything and were not in the condition for it. Your  throat began to burn and you felt a big knot building up inside ready to suffocate you in any moment.

You needed to get out of here for this night.
You waited an hour until he was fully asleep.
That one hour felt like an endless eternity.
Meanwhile a slightly blue screen popped from your phone lighting  weakly the dark room, signalizing you got a message and you knew who it was, you would always know.

When his loud snores filled the room, you made your way silently to the bathroom observing yourself in the mirror, dark red circles carved under your yes, a bruise on your cheekbone and other some gushes and bruises covered here and there on your body.
You took the phone and some little cracks were already falling on the floor, it didn't function properly thanks to his assumptions that you were cheating on him.
You could see her message that she missed you through the cracked screen and instantly a little smile made its way on your face.

She is a precious human and will always be but you didn't want her to worry about you.
She knew you were in a relationship with your boyfriend but she didn't know what kind of.
And that was the problem.
You never told her about the rapidly change in your private life. At the start you always talked about how a sweet and caring boyfriend he was, and he really was but after time went by it drastically changed, when it came to a shout it changed to a slap and when it came it to a slap it almost ended in not only one but mostly a couple of times that lead to broken bones.
After a couple of days he made it up to you with taking you out to dates with flowers and gifts or when it came to it with sex. But at the end everything was replaying from the start.

You thought it was the stress that caused all of this and you still stayed with him. Not that you didn't have the courage to fight him back, you were a level 8 trained SHIELD agent for gods sake but deep inside you were scared.
Scared of being alone and the loneliness would gnaw you from the inside. You never admitted it but you were depending on him, he made you feel loved but at the same time he would also destroy it only to make it harder for you to leave by telling you sweet empty nothingness and he knew that was these things you wanted to hear so desperately only to wrap you around on his finger.
But in fact you were to blind to see it.

When you failed to type a reply back a frustrated sigh escaped from your lips, you grabbed your coat leaving the house and decided to walk to the compound.
After a while you took a faster pace since the cold air was slapping harshly across your face.

It was 3.a.m in the morning when you arrived in the compound and you sneaked silently to your room trying not to wake up anyone and when you made it, you leaned against the door trying to regenerate your unsteady breathing.
You plopped with a heavy sigh on your cold bed cursing yourself for being so naive and feeling ashamed of yourself.

In the middle of the night when you were about to fall asleep you felt soft tender hands hugging around your waist pulling you softly into her warm embrace.
The fingertips lingering on your skin drawing pattern leaving a warm sensation which you normally adored but only this time felt like fire burning on your  bruised skin.
And when the redhead hummed softly a russian lullaby that's when you almost lost it and you had to try your best to suppress your sobs.
You had the urgent need to cry but you couldn't, you were to tired and hurt to do it.