Fynn - The Damage of Love

c h a n g i n g s c h o o l s

{Fynn’s view}
The summer break was a pain in the ass for me. The summer break started very good. I had a boyfriend and all that.We spent so much time together, i think we got to spend 2 weeks straight together. But it all went down in the second week. His best friend called „Jason“ was jealous of me & my ex’s relationship, since him & i spend literally every weekend togehter for like 3 months straight. Jason told my ex’s mom lies about me, which led my ex to the point where he broke up with me. Even though i showed him all the reciepts of my innocence.
„FYNN, WAKE UP!“ shouts my mum at me.
I’m about to change schools today. The reason is that i finished secondary school in spring and now want to go to highschool. It’s 7:00am rightnow, which means i have to drive now.
„Bye Mom!“  told i my mum as i went straight out of the home.
I’m very nervous. My old school wasn’t that accepting with my sexuality, which lead me to being introverted. I’m scared that it will be the same as in my old school. The first week will be horrible, i already know that. I just can’t talk to anyone, since i’m very shy and introverted. I just don’t like to talk to strangers, since i’m afraid of a few things that happend to me in the past. I always think about my insecurities, for example: „Am I ugly?“, „Am I too dumb?“, „Am i just unsympathetic?“, „Will they like me even though I’m gay?“
I guess I’ll have to find out.
It’s 07:45 now, which means I have to go the classroom. There are around 130 People in this room. I immediately search for some people i know, which leads me to some people i just talked for literally one time in my whole life. //maybe they will like me, i'll just sit next to them//
I didn't talk to them for the whole time, i just listened to the teacher who told us everything about this school year. Then i got my schedule for the next 6 months. It could've been way worse but i immediately noticed that i don't have any subjects with my „friends"..atleast not many subjects. //well, i'm fucked//
- The next day –
My first lesson starts, i have P.E now. I only know one person in this P.E class but only because we talked alot in kindergarten..which was over 10 years ago. I am completely alone. We're playing some kind of basketball game to practice our teamwork. It wents kind of well, but i got voted in as the last person. As always. I mean i understans it, no one knows me here. The lesson is over now..i didn't talk to anyone. I really tried but i'm just way too shy. My next lesson is latin. It's my first time taking latin-class. I'm waiting for the teacher. „Hey, your name is Fynn, right?“ asks Luke, someone from my old school. „Hey, yes my name is Fynn. Are you also in latin-class?“ I respond back. „Yes, would you mind if I could sit next you?“ asks Luke again. I of course said yes. Luke is the first Person that talks to me. //YAY FINALLY SOMEONE THAT TALKS TO ME, MY SOCIALLIFE FINALLY GETS BETTER// //haha u dumbass, my sociallife will not get better anytime soon haha//
Luke and I started talking alot during the day, it was really nice. We then said bye to eachother, since the school was over. In the next day, Luke and I didn't talk that much. I was really alone that day, which made me really sad. I even started to cry during the day, because I thought it would be like that for the whole 3 yeaes i'm going to be on this school. But this would change soon…