Janus Everleigh

Always and Forever

And she knew it was the end.  

"Janus always loved the end. She always had a thing for bitter-sweet endings; her favourite stories always came with sad and peaceful tears. Whenever she went on her phone she would have a dozen notifications, but she was always found in her room on Friday nights with her head in a book, never wanting to hangout. A silent giggle fills the room. She never wanted much attention; she was just beautiful: long blonde hair, angelic face, and royal blue eyes. Every corner she turned there was always someone trying to get her attention, but none of it fazed her, she always had her hoodie up and her head faced down. She never wanted the attention, I was the one that knew her, that loved her, always and forever, at least that's what our rings said. I thought life was starting to go back to normal..."

One night Janus' father told her there was food left for her; when she opens the fridge, her face turns red. She falls to the floor with her hands wrapped around her head, holding back tears. She is struggling to breathe; there sits her mom's last cooked meal. Hyperventilating in tears she pulls it out of the fridge, she stands over it for a while, until she finds the courage to take a bite.

"This feels wrong" she stuttered to her father. 

"Stop being so dramatic, it's just food, get out of the kitchen" 

"No wonder mom kil-" she stops for a moment. 

She grabs a fork and knife and goes up to her room with her plate. She puts it on the desk that's placed furthest away from the window, facing the wall. She finishes her plate with tears falling down her face, she settles into her room for the night. The walls are splashed with a lavender shade purple, with her furniture a faded white. Cooped up in the corner on her blue bean bag chair reading with her phone going off constantly and her dad playing the TV at full volume; there is never a quiet day in the Everleigh's house. She is reading one of her all-time favourite books, Girl in Pieces. She is on page 200 out of 418, on her 10th time reading the book.

Reading it brings her comfort and after the day she just had, God knew she needed it. After hours of reading, she finds the energy to check her phone. She picks it up and answers Kate's message. Janus' mother had only passed away only a week ago and so she has been away from school for a little while. Kate checks up on her a couple times a day, and Janus replies with the same thing: she's surviving. She goes through the rest of her phone and checks unread messages: all about that day's drama, not one directly to her. Janus went on for weeks with her days consisting of reading, catching up on missed schoolwork, eating, and sleeping. She rarely left her room until her father called her down...

"You're going back to school"

"But I'm not ready"

"Grow up, get over it, I don't care what you do, just get out of my house"

"You're going to regret this"

That night she sits at the desk for hours. She writes something, crumples it and throws it away. Writes something, crumples it and throws it. Writes, crumples, throws. She repeats this many times before she gives up and goes to bed.

In the days to come Janus is forced to face her time back at school. On her first day back it's as if nothing were different, she walks in the school with her hoodie on her head, sitting in class with her head in a book and leaving the school without a trace left behind. She never joined any performing arts, not one sports team or club; it was always school, lunch then home. Janus only talks on her lunch; it was the time she could talk to Kate. 

"What are you doing later?" Kate asks. Janus doesn't hear a word; she sits there in her head without an immediate response...

"Janus"