Connected: Part 4 of the On The Edge Series

Chapter 39

Billy had collected a team of people at his studio that was far from a group of employees. It was like a community. Laughter and music filled the room. Viv and Mary buzzed around the party, chatting with everyone, while Jackson and James stuck to a corner with Brandon. Billy knowingly left me with Tess as he and Tim made the rounds. I could hear his laugh roll through the room every so often.

"Hey, did you have time to see these?" Tess asked as she held up the camera from earlier in the day.

"How terrible are they?" I moaned.

"Are you kidding? I've never seen pictures of Billy like this in an interview. You got pictures of him smiling," Tess flipped through picture after picture.

"I think that says more of Billy and the interviewer than of the photographer."

"I disagree. Billy always gets sullen the second he sees a camera, even if it's me behind it. I think he thinks it makes him look cool or something," she conjectured before moving on with her thoughts. "This one is my favorite. I love how you zoomed in so it's just his face framed by his hair."

I peered over Tess' shoulder to see the photo. "Aw, that's his actual smile," came instinctively from my mouth. Billy's jack-o-lantern smile filled the screen.

"Mary is going to love this," Tess agreed.

"Honestly, I wish I had a camera right now," I murmured. "I feel better in crowds when I have a purpose."

"Ask, and you shall receive," Tess said as she flicked through the camera's settings and handed it to me. "Can you try to get a decent shot of James? I haven't had a good photo of him in years. I think he gets it from his Uncle Billy. Oh, and bonus points if you can catch Tim not being silly."

"Has Tim ever not been silly?" I joked, but as I did, a stark memory of serious Tim filled my mind. His grave expression as he slumped in a hospital bed, fearing the worst for Billy. I scanned the room until I found Tim and Billy casually chatting with a group, dispelling the negative memory. I lifted the camera and snapped a photo before I began slipping from one shadowy corner to the next snapping photos.

I knew a few people vaguely from the few days I had spent in the studio. If I stepped out of the safety of dim lighting, everyone posed when they saw me with a camera. I smiled and snapped the staged photos, but found them all quite dull. I slunk to a corner to steal some candids. The dance floor was my favorite target, and Mary was the star. I switched to burst mode when Billy joined her for a waltz. After taking a few bursts, I dropped my camera and soaked in the scene as they glided across the floor, murmuring and laughing with each other.

In the next song, Tim cut in for his own dance with Mary. Again, I lifted my camera for a few bursts before dropping it to watch them firsthand. This time my focus had competition, though. Billy had pulled Viv to him. She giggled as she stumbled to follow his lead while he whispered reassuring words. I capture a few more series of Billy and Viv before hunting out James. He was still in his corner with Jackson and Brandon. They chatted with each other. I lifted my camera and snapped a few, but knew they wouldn't appease Tess.

"Hiding in plain sight, I see." Billy's voice was clear in my ear. I turned to find him right behind me.

"Tess asked me to take some photos," I offered.

"Did she?" He raised an eyebrow.

"Well, I mentioned I wished I could hide behind a camera again, and she obliged."

"That I believe. May I coax you away from your duty long enough for a dance?" He held a hand up to me, knowing I'd never say no.

I set the camera down on a nearby table and let Billy whisk me away. Dancing with Billy was like being in a dream. His control was both measured and soft as he spun me around. The result was intoxicating: his proximity, the twirl of the room, and the gentle breeze from the dance mixed in a cheerful buzz. He dipped me low, pulling a giggle from me.

"I love you," Billy whispered in my ear as he pulled me back to his side.

"I love you more." I sighed.

"Why did you sigh?" His voice was clear, like a child asking a question.

"I don't know. Something keeps making me feel like these moments are fleeting, as though I might be pulled away again at any moment."

"I'm not upset with you for having to work today. I'm sorry if I gave you that impression."

"Oh, I don't have that impression." I felt sheepish for not even thinking about how Billy felt about me being pulled away. "I'm upset with myself for being pulled away. I don't want to be pulled away. What if I had missed Jackson on stage?"

"I have a feeling he'll be up there again. It's in his blood," Billy soothed.

"That's not the point. I've missed so much with him and Viv and you and Timmy..."

"I know the list," Billy teased.

All at once, I realized it. To my core, I suddenly resented my job, not just my job, but my career. I didn't want to allow it to steal another moment from me. I wanted to see every one of Viv's soccer games and every time Jackson played. I wanted to be at every birthday and holiday. And above all, I didn't want to miss a single dance with Billy.

"I want to quit my job," I blurted out.

"What?" Billy stopped dead in his waltz.

"I don't want to miss anything else. I want to go to every game, concert, and school bake sale."

"Oh, babe, you don't want to go to every bake sale. Trust me, I've played sketchy dive bars and shitty clubs, and nothing has ever come near to scaring me as much as the PTO at the kids' school."

"Challenge accepted."

"Lil, I love you, and I'll support you in whatever you want, but I don't want you to make a rash decision from one bad night."

"Define rash decision..."

"Quitting your job because of one bad day."

"It's not one bad day." But before I continued, I let out a sigh. "Maybe you're right."

"Hey," Billy bundled me back in his arms and waltzed again. "We have a lifetime to figure out what you want. Sleep on it. If you want to quit your job tomorrow, then maybe you quit your job tomorrow."

I collapsed into Billy's chest for the rest of our dance. His arm held me tight against him as he twirled me around.

"Hey," he murmured as the song wound down.

I looked up to meet his eyes as he nodded to a corner of the room. There, on a couch in the corner, were Viv and James. Viv was tucked into James' side, eyes closed, and head resting on his shoulder. James' arm looped around her with his eyes also closed as his head rested on the crown of hers.

"Where's my camera?" I whispered back before charging for it and taking a burst of photos.

"Did you get it?" Billy asked over my shoulder as we looked through the photos.

"Yep," I smiled as I peered down at the photo of them mirroring the image of Billy and me all those years ago. "This is what I don't want to miss," I added as I leaned back into Billy's chest.

"You didn't," he reminded me as he pulled me to his chest for another hug.