Disappearing

Different, chapter one.

I was awakened by loud sounds as usual. I decided to stand up and go to greet my grandmother that was in the kitchen preparing breakfast for me. The kitchen was located on the first floor. I really loved my grandmother. She was one of the few people that had helped me even in my hardest times. I wish every night the best for her, however, there isn't a lot I can do, to make that change.

I sat down and coincided what to change my first name for. Furthermore, I conceded that Amira is a perfect match for me. I have heard it before when I was younger and since then have I always had a big love for that name. I didn't really want to change my name, however, several children at school had bullied me for it, making me insecure about even thinking about my previous name. Everyone at school knew me, not in a good way. I'm not popular, the exact opposite and that is how everyone knew me. As the girl that gets laughed at.

Ever since I moved in with my grandmother has I only spent time with Nicolas. Nicolas lived together with me and my grandmother. I had only known him for a couple of months, but it felt like years. Grandmother and Nicolas never communicated with each other. Every time I would ask any of them why didn't, they always ignore me. Nicolas and I had the whole upstairs for ourselves. While grandmother only spent time downstairs. She was too old to walk up the stairs alone, so she just chose not to.

Nicolas and Grandmother were the only people I really spoke to. Don't get me wrong, I love them, and I'm forever grateful for them, but having only 2 people to talk to can get boring. Ever since I had transformed household to grandmother had all of my friends stopped communicating with me. My friends disliked Nicolas and therefore had I chosen to not continue to be friends with them.

I moved out after a huge fight between me and my parents. My parents had given me a strong that hit me in the head that sometimes led me into having panic attacks. I had to take an incredibly huge amount of medicine daily to be able to go return to school.

My parents and I had a great relationship when I was younger. We would spend time together and we didn't hide anything from each other. We had the kind of relationship you would see on TV. It was really amazing. When I became older, everything started to change and fall apart. Once, my parents came home and was aggressive and accused me of stuff. Ever since then, our relationship was changed and would never be the same. It got to the point where they wouldn't let me be alone and they would beat daily.

I was brutally bullied in school and online, by a lot of students that go to the same school, as me. The beating was normal and it became a routine. I didn't attempt to end the bullying or the beating because I believed that I deserved it. Everything happens because of a reason, right?

When all of my classes finished, was I forced to remain in school for an hour more. Not in detention. The students bullied and brutally beat me for that hour. I got used to it and it became a routine in my day. I had always needed to change clothes before going home, or my grandmother would notice the bloodstains. I was close to losing my hearing when I once forgot to wear my ear protection in the morning. A mistake I will never commit again.