Re:black phoenix

colors.

There was no lag between the moment of his death and him returning to the past. Return by death wasn't so convenient as to present such respite.

Though he had gotten used to the disorienting effect of his instantaneous change in position due to his numerous usages of tunneling, he could never get over the emptiness death brought upon his very being.Neither the agony of death nor the imminent horrors were at the forefront of Subaru's mind.

Color, for a single moment he had seen color in the previous loop. That single realization made him feel as if he had been freed from a bind he didn't know was caging him. That's why, as he gazed upon a black and white world with eyes fit for a corpse, his teeth started to chatter.

He turned on his heel and broke into a sprint. Behind him, he heard the calls of an oni maid.

He didn't dare look back.

Somehow, despite her superior natural speed he had managed to outrun her, the crowd had slowed her down, he thought. Breathing heavily he ran and ran. Eventually, he found himself on a secluded ledge overlooking the majority of the city.

The boy didn't intend for it to be his destination, his legs simply carried him here through no will of his own. Collapsing to his knees, both hands planted on the ground as he emptied the contents of his stomach. Drowning in despair, he pushed his brain to think of a way out.

He was the only one strong enough and willing enough to take down both the white whale and sloth. That's exactly what he did last loop, he was so close to success, but then sloth's possession screwed everything up.

To save everyone he needed to kill sloth, to kill sloth he needed to kill himself, if he kills himself all his progress will be reset. incapacitating the archbishop wasn't an option either; there were ten of him for god's sake.

An unwinnable situation.

He lurched at the thought, the pit of despair grew deeper swallowing him whole. His finger went to his neck as he leaned against a wall, one arm rested on his bent knee. Blood trickled down his nape nails scratching his skin. The sound of distant footsteps made him pull his hand away, a petite lady dressed in a maids uniform knelt to his level.

Rem: "You shouldn't run away like that with no explanation. I don't mind chasing you, but doing it out of the blue isn't very fair."

Subaru: "..."

Subaru didn't answer, she'd be dead in two days, what was the point of idle conversation.

Rem: "You know, I'm not exceptionally smart. I can't help if you don't tell me what's wrong."

A dry chuckle escaped his lips curved in a broken grin. Sounds of chains echoed around his skull. He had forgiven Rem for her erased transgressions, he was sure of that so why was he feeling so much wrath.

Wrath towards Rem who inflicted so much pain on him.

Wrath towards the villagers and the residents of the mansion for not being able to protect themselves.

Wrath towards Puck and Roswaal for disappearing in such a dire situation.

Wrath towards sloth for killing the people he cared about.

And wrath towards himself for not being strong enough to solve this problem.

Feelings that should not exist, feeling that he had been trying to suppress ever since they emerged, ever since his world lost its color.

As out of place as they may be, they were still real and affected his judgment just the same. Knowing that, the boy pressed his palms against his damp face pushing back and bottling them up as best he could.