'tis the damn season

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september 6 2021
audrey

nine am
—what happens when you die? that question is always in my mind—i ask my sister as i walk into the living room
—i don't know— martha says— audrey it's nine am don't start with this
—no really— i say as i walk into the kitchen— like our body and soul is just there when we pass away? that's hella awkward—i say and i put some milk in a bowl— for real i mean that would be so embarrassing — i put some cereals in the bowl and start eating
—drey stop please let me rest
—you'll have time for that when you die and stand there next to other souls awkwardly— i say going to my bedroom
i lay on my bed eating cereals and scrolling thru tiktok until a text stops my daily my true crime short video

future milfs🧙🏻‍♀️🩰🎧

pao 🧙🏻‍♀️
YOU DONT KNOW WHAT HAPPEND

audrey🩰
WHAT HAPPEND

alex🎧
no we don't
what happend paola?

pao🧙🏻‍♀️
i'm at the crystal store
as usual
but
this time i'm not alone..............
there's a cute guy
right here
he's like really tall
and cute
and long hair

audrey🩰
he's so tall
and handsome as hell
he's so bad
but he does it so weeeell
sorry
keep going

pao🧙🏻‍♀️
thanks
he's right here
OJ WSIT HE'S COMING
OMG QHAT
HE GAVE ME HIS NUMBER
AND A ROSE QUARTZ
i'm dead
rip me
i died dead

alex🎧
HE DID THAT

audrey🩰
MISS GIRL WHENS THE
WEDDING
BUT!!!!!!!
be careful with the quartz
you don't know his intentions 🤨🤨🤨🤨
are good obviously
but
what if he wants to kill you or something
bullshit don't listen to me
i'm overthinking so you don't

read by 2 at 10:12 am

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eleven am
why do i feel like a have to do something? i really don't want to do anything until 4:30 pm. at four thirty pm i'm hanging out with this group of people from my history of art class. they look cool, i went with one of the girls to a summer camp once she was so cool. i had like a friendship crush (you know when you are like omg they're sooooo cool but you're to shy to talk to them) on her. her name is nicole. she has one of this big group of friends that always seem to have a lot of fun. and i'm hanging out with them today.

five pm
—your fav song movie and book—a boy with curly hair asks— if we want to be your friends we need to know that
—favourite song at the moment 'pumpkin' by the regrettes, my favourite song of all times is 'blackbird' by the beatles i think. my favourite movie probably little women 2019 or breakfast at tiffany's, i love audrey hepburn. my favourite book probably 'the invisible life of addie larue' or 'pride and prejudice' i love the classics
—i agree we can keep her—a ginger girl says and we all laugh
i see in the distance a shape i can recognise. i don't want to stare but i do it anyways. it's been a while since the last time we talked, now i don't know if i should say hello. he's with the people who's always been their best friends—apart of me, of course—. he's with james and emily, he's with emily, like WITH emily, he has his arm around her shoulder, i've always known the would end up together, but i had the hope he would somehow give me a chance, but it's okay, i'm over him, it's just a little bit shocking to see them being an actual couple —or whatever they are—. i'm happy for him. they really have a cute story. and chemistry. i'm happy. really. i'm so happy.
i look at my new friends again, i don't want to be a creep.
we keep talking around an hour or less. i really like this people. the tall one is nicole, dark brown hair, thick eyebrows, really pale, almost a vampire. the short one is julie, long blond hair, mini skirts and a really good sense of humour. the tallest guy is isaac, curly brown hair, green eyes and a beautiful smile. dave, really skinny, black hair, we met before but never been friends. chris, long ginger hair,big green eyes and freckles around her small nose. they are all really nice, i really like them.
it's time to go back home home and i walk past the empty streets. it's only 8:30 pm but this town is always empty. i pass next the bar where i always had dinner with my family and the partridges back then, our parents are still friends and hang out, but whenever i go to those hangouts —that isn't very often— he's never there, i don't blame him, it's really boring, and he surely has better things to do on a summer friday night. but at least he could say hi, wave or something whenever we see at school, but he doesn't. and that very rude of him. look neither do i but it is —or was— our thing : he says hello first and i reply with another hello and a smile. he did it the first two weeks when i started secondary school but then stopped, and once not long ago i was at the doctor with my mother and in the waiting room a man was covering my view so i didn't see his mother and i didn't recognise him and we stared for like two minutes till my mother came back and said something like "oh look there's lizzie and louis".
so yeah i don't know if he's still the same person i knew before. i knew him right to the bone, better than i knew myself, and he knew me better than anyone, he was my person, the one i could tell my problems and knew he wouldn't judge me and didn't left me alone when i told him to, and i'm so grateful for that. but that's past. that's gone.
i keep walking looking at my shoes and the keys on my hand, i look at the smallest one, three days ago i used it to write some inside joke on a park bench with my friend paul. he wrote "small dick big heart" i swear he's hilarious.
i step into my house and take of my coat and my doc martens, sit in the coach and look at the ceiling smiling at the idea of possible my new friendships.
—how was it?— martha says
—they are so cool, i swear— i say
—where did you go?— she asks
—to the park— i say
—witch one?— there are literally three parks in this town
—the one by the methodist— i say with a 'why are you asking me so many questions' face
—did you see louis? partridge i mean.— she says
—i- yes. why?— i say
—issie told me he saw you— is she still friends with issie?
—you and issie talk?— i say
—not as much as we did but yeah sometimes— she says
—oh
—yeah.. she says he told her— oh
—he did?— i say
—yeah— we stay silent for like two minutes —would you hook up with him?
—MARTHA— is ay scandalised
—what? audrey i know you liked him and i don't know... you are pretty he's pretty, but quite dumb because you guys haven't had anything yet. or have you?
—w- what? martha are you sober?
— i mean you two have nothing to lose.
is she okay?
—please stop— i say
—would you if i told you to?— she said — i always shipped you
—cant you shut up?— i say a little bit louder
— don't talk to me like that i'm your older sister— she says
—do i look like i give a fuck?— i say
—god you are insufferable— she says and the goes upstairs to her room
i chuckle ironically
but, would i?
no i wouldn't .
i think