To Drown in Sand

If lonely is the taste then it's all that I'm tasting Do you hear my cry?

If the road to hell was paved with good intentions, then his father might as well be the Devil himself.

Rin watched silently from me the top of the stairs as his parents argued for the thirteenth time that week. He knows because he's kept careful count. The nine year old is unfazed as his mother's voice continues to rise, her temper getting out of control like it always did when her affair was brought up.

"If you'd pay more attention to me and just raise the limit on my card, I wouldn't need to go to him!" She'd always counter, as if that justified anything.

Rin knew his parents weren't in love. They never were. It was just business, an arranged marriage to merge two massive corporations into a devastating powerhouse. But his father tried desperately to make it work. The man constantly planned family bonding trips and heartfelt gifts were always laid out for his wife's birthday and Mother's Day. Anything she wanted was given to her and for a while, that was enough.

Until it wasn't.

Father first learned about the affair when Rin was seven. From his son no less. His father was constantly away on business but when he wasn't, every single second of his home time was dedicated to his family. He had managed to wrap up business early and came home two days ahead of time. His son was walking through the foyer when he came home, a large smile on his face and a bag full of souvenirs.

"Hello my little knight! Where's your mother?"

"I don't know. She left with her boyfriend right after you did and said she'd be back tomorrow."

Adults often think children to be naïve and unaware of the world around them. But children are the most observant people in the world whenever there's something to hide. So while his mother claimed the man she left with was his uncle, Rin knew better. His father was an only child and his mother had only sisters.

This was the 22nd century, she'd have to come up with a better lie than that.

His father's face was unreadable as the words were processed, his stupor broken when his son tugged at his coat and asked him about his trip. His father smiled and gave him a hug.

The next day when Rin's mother came home, his parents locked themselves away in his father's office and weren't seen until the next day.

After that, his mother was more careful in her sneaking. Not to hide from her husband, no he knew she wouldn't give that up. No, it was because her husband said that if she brought men around his son, he'd cut her cards.

And so, things remained "normal". They were the picture perfect family on the outside, while only dad cared for the son on the inside.

At Rin's eighth birthday party, his father punished his mother for the first time. She had slipped up. Her lover had become too comfortable with his position and thought she'd leave her husband. He thought she'd divorce the man and remarry him, giving him access to all her money and time. The man was wrong.

He came to Rin's party and actually introduced himself to the birthday boy. Rin paid the man no mind, to enthralled with his birthday gift, a Tibetan mastiff puppy, to care that this was his mother's boyfriend. His mother was to slow in getting her lover out of her husband's line of sight. The party continued without a single hitch and all seemed to be forgotten.

That night, Rin's father cancelled his wife's order for a new summer wardrobe.

From there, everything went down hill. His mother was absent more often from his life as her lover tried to make her leave her husband, Rin would feel neglected by his mother, and his father would cut into his wife's spending sprees. A sad cycle they fell into.