Does my angst make me less worthy of the desire I crave so deep?
Was my sensitiveness too much for you to handle? To take seriously?
Did the thought of hurting me with the hopes and promise you'd change just to destroy me over and over again excite you? Well, I hope it made you fucking happy.
I wondered these over and over, my mind not able to create proper thoughts, it was like self-inflicted torture, the constant repetition of the simple words that you say, the way I break when I remember. It was easy for you, loved by your peers, obtaining what I so desire for, the love I craved so simple for you but me untouchable.
I'm getting ahead of the story, sorry about that to put it bluntly I'm writing this story whilst I still go through it Ahah, my biased words will subconsciously manipulate and deceive you but do not be misguided, I am the villain of my own story. And my happy ending does not happen, so if that's what you're expecting you've come to the wrong place, apologies.
Well, the beginning started like a normal life, in a way? I stared at my wall, cried myself to sleep, woke up, went to school, came home, ate. Repeat, repeat, repeat the days went fast I felt like nothing I did matter, I did nothing in the end I can't remember much, oh well I guess. I can't pinpoint the exact moment I met him, it just sorts of happening, he was a friend of a friend as I was to him. And you know I was strangely attracted to him at first for no apparent reason, wasn't his face or the way he talked but I just was, it's hard to explain it's like something is stopping me, I think it was just him. He never leaves my mind... even now, it's strange to me. It's torture for me.
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Anemone - Veil Kept Down
General FictionAnemone was blooming that summer, the heat of desperation. Tight clothes that clinged to our bodies as we sweat, the changed that took me over was the beggining of the flame that arose in me. The; shame ,guilt, lust of those memories never leave. At...
