Renaissance (boyxboy)

Chapter 10

By the time lunch came around I’d nearly worked myself up to the point that eating would risk anyone around me getting puked on.  I had the same lunch period as Edward and wasn’t looking forward to it.  I kept telling myself that it was because I was pissed off that he was such a dick, but when I was honest with myself I knew that it was because, quite frankly, I wasn’t used to bullying.  Even if it was light, it was something I was unaccustomed to and it bothered me.  Anger was easier than sadness though, so I kept my stony expression as I walked with mock confidence into the lunch room.

The same table was filled with his siblings, but to my amazement he wasn’t there.  It was as if some huge weight had been lifted, but I wasn’t ready to ease up so quickly.  After all, he could just be in the line with everyone else.  I pulled my hood up, something that was becoming a nearly dependable habit that I hoped wouldn’t stick for too long.  Why the hell should I be the one hiding when he’s the jerk that’s treating me like garbage?  Literally.

But when I finally got to the line of food I realized he wasn’t there.  Huh.  So he really was gone that day.  None of his family looked any different than they had before; disinterested in their food and talking quietly to each other.  Still, there was something weird about only seeing the four of them there.  You’d think it’d be the opposite; that he’d stick out like a sore thumb and his absence would make everything more balanced, but it was far from that.

What did I care?  The guy was a scumbag.  I ate my lunch quietly, staying on the end of the table with Angela and Ben.  After a few minutes of quiet chewing Angela finally looked at me and attempted conversation,

“So…how are you liking school so far?  Do you like your classes?”  Her eyebrows raised hopefully, but so gently, the complete opposite of Jessica’s animated expressions.  Ben watched me silently as he ate, whether he was truly interested or not I wasn’t sure.

“Yeah I guess, some of this stuff I’d already been through back at my old school this year.  Kinda like a nice break to ease in.”

To my surprise, Ben was the one to comment back, “Thought about joining any clubs?”

I instantly shook my head, but I wondered if it was the wrong thing to do.  Maybe that was his way of inviting me to one or something, I backpedaled in case it was taken the wrong way, “Still getting my bearings.  Maybe next year.  What about you guys?  Are you in anything?”

My eyes flicked from him to Angela and she smiled a sheepish one, “We’ve got a pretty good photography club…but I get busy a lot.”

“That’s right, you’re in a lot of AP huh?”

She nodded again, but seemed a little uncomfortable about the shift in attention, so I tried to direct it back to me.  Weird, I hated being fully focused on, these two were just the only people that I truly found myself caring about so far, and I didn’t want to jeopardize that.

“So, are there any sports teams here?”

Ben’s eyebrows furrowed, “I thought you didn’t want to join any clubs.”

I shook my head, “I don’t, but I think Ricky is jonesing for me to join one.  Maybe I could be a benchwarmer or something senior year.”

“You call your dad by his name?” Angela’s eyes were wider than I’d seen them be before.  Crap, I was messing this whole friend thing up with these two wasn’t I?

“What?  No, not to him I mean.  Mom always called him by his name of course, so I just got used to it growing up.  When I didn’t see him as much it was just…I don’t know, easier.  ‘Dad’ still feels weird.”

Ben shrugged and took another bite of his food, “Makes sense.”

“So, you guys are going to La Push too?”

They both nodded, and Ben swallowed down his food down, “Yeah, Mike roped me into it.”  He said it with a smirk but I wondered now if Mike had overenthusiastically pulled him along like Jessica had done with me.

The tension forming in my stomach unknotted itself and conversation was easy to fall into after that.  By the end of lunch I’d completely forgotten about why I’d been dreading the end of the day so much, but when Ben and Angela dropped me off at Biology I was instantly reminded.

Here we go, moment of truth.  He wasn’t at lunch, so there was a high probability that he just wasn’t here today and this would confirm that.  All I had to do was walk into the room.  Had I been less of an anxiety freak I would have just waltzed up to his family’s lunch table and asked them.  Honestly, even if that was weird seeming it wasn’t like I’d ever speak to them again.  But, I was a coward, and cowards don’t do that.

Yeah yeah I’ll admit I’m a chicken, but there was still something creepy about all of them that I couldn’t shake.  And for some reason I was the only one that seemed to think it, or at least obsess about it as much as I had.

Before I could come up with an excuse for the bathroom, I walked into the classroom and quickly went to our table.  So far so good, he wasn’t there, but he could just be late.  Students came in one after another, but none of them were him.  By the time the lesson started I was able to lean comfortably against the black top.

Good.  Maybe karma had gotten the bastard sick and he wasn’t here today because of it.  Suddenly the dreariness of the day I’d felt upon waking up evaporated away.  Though in the back of my head I reminded myself not to get used to it: the guy wasn’t gonna be sick forever, and it’d make me a pretty shitty person to want him be in the first place.

I guess I’d have to wait until tomorrow to find out how horrible of a guy I was.