Peoms

I tried

I tried

To be the best kid

To get good grades

To listen

To do as told

Not to cry

Not to slice a razors sharp tongue
roughly through my skin

Not to wimper in pain

To be strong

Be skinny

Be pretty

To be "normal"

To fit in

To do art
a sport
extra things at school

To do extra credit

To please everyone

To be everything everyone wants me to be

I tried and I failed
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I tried

To find that vanilla, laced rope

To grab a chair

Say my goodbyes as if someone cared

To tie a sturdy knot

To kick the chair when I was done

I tried but I failed
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So,

I went to my room

And I tried

And tried

And tried more

To be perfect

But when I continued to fail

I took a blade and a couple painkillers

Who's tongue was rough and something to end the pain

So I drank as many pills that filled my palms

And lightly pierced my wrist

But it was different this time

I didn't feel scared

I wasn't in pain

I didn't slide to the side

Or horizontal

No,

I slid straight up

And centimeters deep

The warm redness poured out of me...

I fell motionless

I cried silent

I bled quiet

I screamed for nothing

Because then

And only then

Had I realized

That for once

I had tried

And succeeded
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I don't have to try anymore