Chapter One
Most great things in life are spontaneous and extraordinary; they come from the deepest pits of your mind and soul and either fill or create the void in your heart that you cannot bear to see. Death being one of those things along with life, and without Caria in my life, I don't think anything spontaneous would of ever confused me. It was the winter of nineteen ninety eight when I my parents decided to move. It wasn't a drastically life changing moved deriving me of everything I've ever known and loved; just a simple move to a bigger house across town. For me this meant saying good bye to my long gone child hood and welcoming myself into a new life; except, new life was much scarier. "You'll love it, now come on! You better get first dibs on rooms when we get there before your little sister! Remember. First one to claim gets to name!" I rolled my eyes and slid down from the old oak tree I used to have a tree house in until hurricanes came and knocked it down. I made sure to grab my glove and baseball. It was the first time I touched them since the incident. Dad walked outside one last time and smiled at me "Toss the ball" he said with a vacant smile. I looked down at the unwinding seems of my baseball glove I received for my twelfth birthday and threw him the ball. It was a strange feeling throwing the baseball again, I honestly thought that I should have just dropped it, but I couldn't do that to my own Dad. I almost missed the feeling, and for a small minute it cleared me of everything fogging my mind; I thought that my spell was broken. Dad caught it with ease passing it back and forth between both hands. I smiled because when he did that, it brought me back to the first summer I was interested in baseball. He had the same exact stance, and even the same "son I'm proud of you but I have no need to verbalize it" smile he wore on special occasions. And for one last time, he threw me the final pitch in that backyard, and with that pitch any chance of me ever acting like a child again was over; because that Sunny Winter in the South, my life took an unexpected turn, farther from where it already was.
Caria was an enigma that even she herself couldn't figure out. Although she was mainly un-liked by peers, they seem to be showing a lot of remorse about her death. They all wore the special pins Principal Bergburt and our guidance councilor Mrs. Cassandra created. It was almost like an insignia to make people feel better after how harshly they had treated her. I remember Erin Balhoffer calling towards Caria one day screaming "Nobody likes you; now get out of way before I slap you." Everyone crowded around the two as Erin threw Caria to the ground and walked away. Erin now wore the pin in the shape of an angle over her chest; clasping onto it for dear life whenever she heard someone begin to morn. She would cry out "Caria was such a beautiful soul. God bless her" I don't know if Erin was using it to draw attention to her already popular enough status quo,(and breast)or just because she was feeling guilty for the harsh ways she had treated my dear Caria all throughout junior high and high school. It was hardest for me to walk down the halls and see the one other face that reminded me of Caria, the other face that put her to shame and misery; Jenabell Harris walked down the hallway January Eleventh Nineteen Ninety Nine without a care in the world for what she had witnessed just two days before. Exactly one hour before Caria died. She held her perplexed head upright as if she were the Queen of England herself -She like I, didn't understand why everyone was so upset.- a crooked smile coated in pink lip gloss to cover up her lips real terror, and her unopened math book extending off her right thigh and resting in her right arm. On her fore arm, near her wrist I could still see the mirrored image of Caria's birthmark. -Imminently memories flooded into my mind of anytime I ever saw Caria's arm. Even just so much as linger in my field of view. Like that time she bought me my first Slurpee from the new seven eleven, and put her hand on top of mine as she handed the cashier a crisp ten dollar bill "I got it don't worry!" She smiled at me. - Jenabell walked right past me and her face turned pale, as if she had seen a ghost... Or as if she knew something... She stood staring at me examining everything from my dirty Chuck Taylor's; to my cheap black jacket I kept slouched over my shoulder, to my eyes staring straight into hers for answers. We held each other gaze for a total time of forty six seconds. I counted. Out of everything that raced through my mind like stoke cars trying to reach the finish, all I saw was Caria's eyes. She same eyes that smiled at me; the same eyes that understood me. Jenabell and Caria resembled each other so much and I can't see how. I don't understand how someone who looks almost identical from every angle can be complete opposites from every perspective. Jenabell snapped out of it and caught up with Erin. I continued my walk to first period, still hearing Caria's voice above all the murmurs of everyone else complaining about how she doesn't understand her latest algebra homework that I would soon help her with when we reached Mr. Snizers class since we were already so keen on the American Revolution and didn't have to learn about history the same way we did math.
