Unprepared To Love You

The Ranking

The wait was almost unbearable.

She was backstage waiting for her turn to perform. It still felt like a dream that she was there.

Travelling to China had been surreal itself. She had always wanted to go, especially once she discovered Chinese dramas. When she saw the announcement that they were accepting international contestants for an Idol group producing show she watched, she applied just for fun. She had never expected to be invited for an audition.

It was an excuse to visit the country as she didn't have high expectations of being invited onto the show. Although she was fairly confident in her singing voice, she wasn't sure she had enough personality to do well on a show. So it had been a shock when she got the call to tell her she had been accepted as a contestant.

Since she didn't belong to an entertainment company she was one of the last to perform. This would be her first performance on the show, in front of all the contestants and the mentors who would be judging and ranking her today. It was an important performance.

Truthfully, she was utterly terrified and therefore surprised that her hands weren't shaking with nerves. Singing was her strong suit, while she didn't know how to dance, she believed that with a bit of guidance and practice she would be at least passable. She had to be, there was no way she could rap. To do well you needed to be exceptional in one of the three, good at two or okay at all three.

As if she wasn't nervous enough, she couldn't get her in-ears in properly. She had never worn them before and although they seemed self explanatory, they kept falling out. She was still fiddling with them as she was called to the stage.

She knew enough Mandarin to be able to introduce herself, hit after that she mainly relied on the translators to help her communicate with the mentors. She only knew some words and basic phrases, which was enough to be allowed on the show. She have to learn more, and quickly, while she was here.

It was a little embarrassing but also a relief when they noticed her fiddling with her in-ears and one of the mentors offered to help her with it. She thanked them profusely and then it was time to sing.

A stage hand brought out her guitar and she took a deep breath before starting. She had decided to sing an original song as she hoped it would give her an edge. However, she had also prepared a Chinese song, in case they asked, which they did.

Afterwards she stood on the stage waiting for the mentors feedback. She had been too nervous before to allow herself to properly look at them and she also hadn't wanted to distract herself. It had been a good idea because she recognised some of them. Two in particular: Huang Zitao and Wang Yibo. Both had been on the show before and Yibo was the reason she had started watching the show in the first place.

When Zitao started speaking, she was already nervous. She had always found him somewhat intimidating when she had watched the show. A particular moment of him shouting at the trainees came to mind.

"It says here that you don't know how to dance, but you're quick to learn new things. Why is that?"

"I didn't have time to learn before I applied to come here."

"You never thought about having lessons before?"

"I did, but I thought it was too late for me - to pursue this type of career."

"And yet here you are... what changed your mind?"

"If someone has enough determination, they can do anything."

"Do you?"

The question came from Wang Yibo. The sound of his voice, directed at her, was enough to through her off her game. She quickly recovered and met his piercing gaze as she answered him as confidently as she could.

"Yes."

The dance mentor looked back down at his notes and the others decided they didn't need to hear any more from her. As they deliberated what rank to give her, she tried not to shake too visibly whilst standing on the stage alone under the spotlight. 

She had just completed her first step towards reaching her dream and wondered how many more she would manage to take before she stumbled and fell.