Oh Yeah Mr. Krabs

Chapter One: Wrong Order

My name is Eugene Krabs.

I have recently contracted an STD, due to my sex addiction. I don't know who I got it from, but I don't want to have sex anymore. I would feel terrible knowing I gave someone an STD. I am trying to stop myself, but it is really hard. Having an addiction for almost 20 years, I've given in to my addiction, mainly with my daughter, Pearl. Multiple times. When she found out, she was devastated.

"But, you have the biggest cock ever!" She whined.

"I'm sorry, sweetie, but it has to be this way." I tried reassuring her.

She is still pretty upset about it, and I feel bad. I eventually went into a state of depression, and quit being the owner of The Krusty Krab. Of course, Spongebob was hysterical, telling me that "patties are love, patties are life", but I can't do this anymore. So, months after, here I am, in my room, reading a newspaper. I want to see if any places that are hiring new workers. I don't mind working at a new place, actually. There'll be a lot of new people, and it could make me feel just a little bit better. While scanning through the lists of jobs, I suddenly stopped to look at one that peaked my interests.

"The Kelpshake..." Ha, I remember this place. They tried competing with the Krusty Krab, but eventually lost. I see they are back in business now, probably because of the Krusty Krab closing down. I'll stop down just for a visit.

Now, I wasn't particularly looking for a job here. I just wanted to see if they improved the quality of their drinks or not. I got in my boat and made the lonesome drive.

When I got there, it had almost the same design as before. It was shaped as a green cup, with a straw going through it. I walked in through the green tinted doors, and saw many people sitting at tables, waiting in line, and hanging out. I thought that I looked like a complete loser, all by myself. I waited, and waited, until the line finally got to my turn.

"Hello! Welcome to The Kelpshake! How may we help you?" the cashier questioned in a bubbly tone.

I waited this long, so I might as well just order the one thing they have in their menu.

"The Kelpshake, please." I managed to breathe out, almost stuttering.

"Alright, that will be $6.99 please!"

I handed the bubbly cashier my money. "Please take a seat anywhere you want, your drink will be out shortly!" He cheered.

I followed his orders and found a seat that was vacant. I sat there, trying to get my head together. I looked over to me and saw people laughing, smiling together. I wonder if it's still possible for me to be like that. As I was in this train of thought, a weird looking fish came over to me.

"Are you order 420?" He said in a normal voice, so much for his appearance.

"Yes, I believe." I had no idea there were order numbers, but everything was the same, so it wouldn't matter.l

This man pulled out a Kelpshake behind his back and handed it to me. Even though he looks a bit strange, he was actually quite attractive. His eyes seemed to draw me in. I took a look at my drink. In a moment, I knew something was up.

"T-this isn't what I ordered." I croaked out. Instead of the normal green juice, it was replaced with a white, creamy liquid. I know they didn't change the design, they have posters of it everywhere.

"Oh, it isn't?" He leaned over closer to me.

"What's wrong with it?" He continued.

"I originally thought the liquid was green, but why is it white?" I inquired.

"You don't say," He says as he takes a closer look at my drink.

"I can tell you what it is, if you want to know." He said in a flirtatious tone.

What was this guy planning? If he wanted to hook up with me, I can't. It's not because I'm homophobic, but I don't want to give this guy an STD.

I decided to try a sip of it, just for fun. Hell, it might taste good.

Without me answering, he comes closer and whispers in my ear.

"It's my cum."

"It's your what-?!" I yelled.

How could this be semen? It tasted way too sweet.

"I can show you where I make it, if you want." He slyly moves closer.

"I would like that. It tastes delicious." I said back.

What am I saying?! I can't do this anymore! My anus quivers with anticipation. I'm gonna have to tell this guy I have an STD, then make a run for it.

The man grabs ahold of my crab arm and leads me into the storage room. The metal walls had an eerie quality to them, like they had seen things no fish should see.

"So, my name's Olaf. What's yours?" He asked sweetly.

"Hey, I'm really sorry about this, but I can't have sex with you. I have an STD." I slowly made my way out the door, but was stopped.

"I asked what your name was." He says in a menacing tone.

I look him in the eyes. The same eyes that made me distraught.

"I-it's Eugene Krabs." I replied.

"I see, that's a wonderful name!" He exclaims.

"Honestly, I don't care if you have an STD or not. The moment I saw you, I had a huge erection. It's dying to go up your anus. No matter how loud we are, no one will be able to hear us in this room." He compresses Mr. Krab's claw for a brief moment, before letting go.

He turns around, facing the door, and locks it.