summer love

1

The feeling of loneliness hurts, it hurts more than I could ever put into words.

Yet something about it feels so comforting.

The heaviness in your chest, I don't think I could let it go.

Not yet anyway.

Tilly

Today is the first day of summer camp, I don't want to go.

This year will be my first time being alone. It's the last year and everyone already has friends, but this time not me.

I mean I used to, I somehow managed to be in the popular group, even though I didn't like any of them. Except for one, Mia. We became friends when we were seven, our first year. From there we spent most of the time just the two of us all summer.

That was until two years ago when Mia started climbing the ranks in popularity and we joined along with this friend group, we were still best friends though. I guess all that happened is she go closer with them, I can't blame her it was time she made more friends, she has the kindest soul.

Last year was really when it got bad, when I turned up to the camp, I found out everyone had been hanging out throughout the year, I was no longer really included and just followed them around all summer, not really saying anything. I was like a lost puppy, the forgotten one.

This year I will be lucky for them to even acknowledge me. I have seen them all hanging out on social media. Mia, Lucy, Hannah, Emily, and a whole group of boys joined along.

I would be fine if this happened when we were younger and people were just were beginning to make friends, I could join groups with people I actually shared interests with, but no. Now everyone has tight friend groups and have been in them for years, I doubt they would let me join for the last year.

Anyway, it's time to go, as I live in the city and it takes around an hour to get there. I'm awkwardly sitting in the car with my mum, usually, I am very talkative with family, but the nerves are eating me alive.

"so, have you spoke to Mia about what time she will arrive?" my mum eventually asks.

I forgot I never mentioned how we were drifting apart. I'm not sure what to reply with.

"Ah no, not yet" I finally spit out.

"Oh. Are you planning to?"

"I don't think so, it will be fine."

"mmk" she knows something's up. I think she always would have known we wouldn't stay friends forever. We met when we were just kids and didn't care about anything. Now we have grown. I have become a shy timid girl and she has confidence bouncing off her.

• • •

We have arrived, I feel like I'm going to be sick.

"bye mum, I love you," I say as I am hugging her goodbye

"bye Tilly, stay safe" she squeezes me

I let go of the hug and wave her goodbye as she drives away.

This is going to be a long 3 months without her.

I start to walk to the main hall where we meet every year. I'm one of the first here, great.

One by one more people fill up the hall, the chatter growing louder. The longer I wait here the less I notice people pile in.

"Alright everyone, welcome to your last camp here at Pt. Cains." Ella the leader says. She has been here ever since our first year.

I end up looking around noticing all the familiar faces, my eyes eventually reached to Mia and her group of friends. She's changed, she has bleached her hair, and I'm not even that far away but I can even see the thick layer of mascara on her eyelashes. She never used to really care about her looks, but hey being popular does that to you.

After the welcome meeting, we are sent to the rooms, the girls and the boys. They are two long rooms with bunk beds lined up against the walls.

I end up waiting for everyone to get settled in and eventually choose a top bunk in the back corner away from everyone.

Everyone sits with their friends chatting, I just sit here observing. I noticed Mia glanced over at me, I give her a small smile, she just looks away and goes back to talking to her friends.

I plug in my headphones and start to play some music, attempting to drain out the sounds of everyone's fun while I wait for lunch to be ready.

A/N

Hi, this really sucks I'm sorry, but if you want to continue reading go ahead.

Please remember to drink some water, have something to eat, and take care of yourself!

I love you all <3

-E