Math Sucks! (An Equalizer Fanfic)

Influence

Still remembering three for toilet and four for food, I knocked three times after getting dressed for school. My bladder fills up to the point of bursting every morning. As soon as Kelly opened the door, I ran to the bathroom. I walked out after a piss and a teeth brushing. Titus was sitting in the kitchen eating cereal.

"Morning tighty whity," I said.

He giggled.

"Rose, that's inappropriate," Kelly said.

She gave me a bowl of cereal.

"The sooner he develops a sense of humor the better."

She rolled her eyes.

"It's funny!" He said.

"You even know what tighty whities are?"

"Very small white underpants."

"Where did you hear that word!?" Kelly asked.

"The Big Bang Theory, I watch it on TV."

"No more Big Bang Theory for you, you're too innocent to be watching these shows."

"What shows do you want him to watch, Blue's Clues, Baby Shark, Paw Patrol, Backyardigans? No Backyardigans, because you know what they're into...the thick of it," I said.

"Rose, stop making things sound more inappropriate than they really are!" Kelly said.

"Talking about an age range that thinks sticking their tongues out or having cooties is illegal and is punishable by being told on."

"That's enough Rose, go on to school."

I got my backpack, gave Titus a kiss on the head, and I was gone.

On the sidewalk, I had that Backyardigans song stuck in my head.

"Into the thick of it...into the thick of it...into the thick of it-"

"What type of Backyardigans bullcrap is that?"

I turned to my friend Maya behind me, now Maya is an emo girl, dressed in black, the classic emo bob hairstyle, and in addition, a sucker for Gerard Way.

"The Backyardigans."

Maya was beside me, getting out her pack of cigarettes, gave me one, and lit em both up.

"Lunch detention today?" She asked smoke coming out.

"Yeah, Jennifer, the cheerleader, I gotta deal with her too, got us both in trouble."

"You slammed her face on the table, you watch too many John Wick movies, I know you Rosie. You've always wanted to stab somebody in the neck with a pencil."

"Uh...Jennifer, she's a good candidate for it."

"I would suggest you do it in the girl's bathroom or in an alley, you know, it'll be easier to hide the body."

"I mean stab a mugger or a serial killer, not a school mean girl. Do you think what happened yesterday will go on my permanent record?"

"Permanent records are a myth man, a government sham to scare people...temporary records...yeah...permanent no."

"Are you saying that criminal records are temporary?"

"If you ask for it to be cleared after sometime without any crimes, then yeah."

"If you went to jail, what would you be there for?"

"Vandalism or substance possession on school property. You?"

"Attempted murder of Jennifer Ridner."

We laughed.

"What about your dad, I met him once at the last parent-teacher conference, remember?"

"Yeah."

"He seems like he has the mindset of Elon Musk."

"Don't ever compare my father to that astronaut Tesla man who named his son after calculator terminology. The only similarity between the two of them is they think they're smarter than they actually are."

"Musk plus Grimes equals a musky and grimey kid."

We chuckled and continued walking to school.

During lunch, I got my lunch, it was hotdog and mac n cheese day, whole grain bun and macaroni shells, delicious. Dear heavenly First Lady Michelle Obama, thank you for this whole grain bull that I'm about to receive that's been blessed before being delivered here, Amen.

"Rosalie Lundy, come to the podium, Rosalie Lundy, come to the podium."

Detention time, I got my tray and walked to the podium, I was shown to the lunch detention table.

"Jennifer Ridner, come to the podium, Jennifer Ridner, come to the podium."

In ten seconds flat, Jennifer was at the other end of the table opposite me. I avoided eye contact with her until my teacher called for me and the classmates I went to lunch with.

Later, Kelly picked me up in her car, Titus in the backseat, he was picked up from elementary school.

"Hey tighty...Titus," I said refraining from saying tighty whity.

"Thank you Rose," Kelly said.

"You're welcome."

Titus smiled as we left school.

"Your father said he will be working later at the university," Kelly said.

"Got math worksheets to grade?"

"Maybe, he didn't tell me."

Soon, we arrived at the apartment, I sat down.

"Rose..."

I looked at Kelly who was crossing her arms.

"What?"

"You know what."

I shrugged my shoulders.

"Dad isn't here, he's the one that came up with this stupid punishment anyway."

"And both me and him, as parents, should stick to it."

"You're not my mother, in my eyes, you're just Daddy's girlfriend!"

"I will be more like a mother to you than your own mother."

"I had a great mum, until she left."

"That's right, she left, she doesn't want you...I do. You just don't like me."

"That's right, I don't, I don't think you like me either. Daddy's a grown man and he can do whatever the hell he wants-"

"Language Rose, not in front of Titus!"

"Just let me talk! He's a grown man and he can do what he wants, he picked you as his romantic partner and I have no choice but to go along. I know you're a good mum to Titus, but you're overbearing to him, and you don't like me because I'm trying to be a good big sister!"

"That's not true, I love you like my own, but you influence him to do things he isn't supposed to do."

"Like what, watch TV? He watches TV like any child, let him watch TV, and if a sex scene comes on, he can mute it and cover his eyes, or change the channel. Me and Dad were close as any father and daughter, but when you came along and Titus popped out, our relationship changed, like we started hating each other. I love Titus with all my heart, and I would never take out any frustrations about you and Dad on him. I try to be a big sister but you won't let me."

I got up and went to my room.

"Rose! Rose, come back out and let's talk about this!"

I ignored her.