His Eyes On Me

One Notification...

[13th October....Monday]

I am this close to giving up. Like literally , this year could not get any worse. 

I'm broke.

I don't have a job.

I'm living off of Yoga Bars.

And I'm two months behind my rent.

I feel so pathetic, it's like I'm losing the  passion for what I once loved from the bottom of my heart. I mean I just wanted to be a journalist , and write...anything that lets me throw off my collection of vocabulary on an editor.

* I just wanna write. *

*WHY IS IT SO HARD!?*

I even left my house for this, did a part time in a cafe, got fired cause I kept breaking things and served the wrong tables, but that's cause I couldn't figure out why the table beside 'Table A' was 'Table E' and not B, so it's totally on them. But I am so tired right now. Like it's a wave of emotions all over my head. And I can't even be productive like this.

All that happened in the in the last two weeks was this :

My landlady said that if I didn't pay my share of rent by this end of the month, she'll kick me out.

My boyfriend Alex broke up with me over a younger chick and moved out.

I started to think of a story line , about a struggling artist in a new city (basically me :) )

Got overwhelmed with the idea that it was me and I was nowhere in life.

Started crying like a baby.

Wasted 4 dollars on two large ice-cream buckets.

Realised I'm broke , while eating it.

Cried a lil more.

*SLEPT THE WHOLE DAY.*

[.....loop it for 2 weeks straight......]

And today is Monday,  the start of another week. I still have the biggest writer's block and I'm still broke. I've applied to every other job portal ever and got rejected for the "lack of relevant skill and experience", like I didn't know that before. 

*Idiots!*

And right now I am blankly staring at the top of my screen, cuz that's where the notification pops up. For something, ANYTHING. 

[a *ding* on the laptop.......One Notification]

holy shit...*HOLY SHIT*

It's a mail.

*I just got a mail!!!*

 It's from Fames..... ahhh.. who gives a shit. I've been filling up forms for only one position , the assistant writer...and that's the only reason I can receive any mail - I got in or I didn't and so far it's been the latter one, 

Okay..okay..Lemme read it..

"Dear Applicant,

Thank you for your interest in the position of assistant writer at  FAMES Magazines . 

After viewing your application and reviewing your work we're glad to inform you that you've been chosen as one of the trainee candidates for the  position of Assistant Writer at FAMES Magazines.

During this time you will receive training from the best editors of FAMES , after which you will be evaluated and then on the basis of your performance you'll be offered a permanent position.