The Kailashanath Diamond

Chapter 24

Nandita couldn’t bear it. Voices had taken over her head; that of Jyoti’s, her laugh and her warm tone as she explained Sanskrit to her; that of Agraj, who had pleaded, with tears in his eyes, for his sister’s safety…and the voice of her parent, Shiva, who had proudly claimed her as a perfect Ardha-Ishwara. All those visions, all those dreams, all those promises…they’d shattered in front of her eyes.

The weight bestowed upon her shoulders was too immense; but in all her childishness, she’d forgotten that oaths were always to be considered and reconsidered. In a haste to win over the hearts of so many, many make mistakes that are laughable. And, being an Ardha-Ishwara, Nandita had made this mistake, and if not graver still, to a god.

In a flash, it all came to her: the room where it all started, Jyoti’s room, where Agraj had spoken to her. Would he forgive her now? His smile and lit up face when told his sister would be safe was just the thing that made her so proud to be a human…humane…and she had broken it. She had severed the bond of trust with so many people.

What she really wanted to do was to sit in a corner and weep till no tears came…to cry until her eyes were sore, her throat constricted from all the use. But she simply couldn’t. She had failed a few, but that didn’t mean she would fail the rest, all those people on board who counted on her as much as she counted on them.

That was exactly what had made her stop her crying while she had watched the terrible scene of the blazing ship. She had to be strong. She had already failed, but she simply couldn’t this time.

Swati’s loud voice snapped her out of her reverie. ‘Nandita! Are you there? Look, I’m seriously very, very sorry for what all I said to you on board. Please don’t take it to heart, okay? And – and –’ Swati stopped abruptly, turning away to glimpse at the water. Nandita could only weep now, along with everyone else. The enormity of what had happened had just settled in, and all the pent up frustration and anger and sorrow had to be let out…even if through tears.

All the girls huddled into a corner, consoled each other, and softly cried while they could. Nandita, from the corner of a wet eye, observed Ashwin furiously muttering something (he wasn’t the cursing kind, Shiva-knows-what he was muttering) and pacing. On the other hand, Vignesh and Gaurav were standing on two ends of the lake, gazing into the distance, lost in thoughts.

The man accompanying them, Deukyen, chose the exact moment to come to them, his eyes wide. With a sudden start, Nandita whipped around, her eyes still wet and red from crying. The man, as if he understood, nodded and turned around, walking away with a soft gait. Even in such a situation, the sheer goodness that still existed in this world shocked her.

A minute later, Nandita gathered herself, and told the rest assembled close to her, ‘I know we’ve all gone through so much…we aren’t even supposed to be subjected to all this. I know we have seen – seen – something that nobody should ever see. But I also know that we have some saving to do.’ The others nodded, seemingly surprised at Nandita’s sudden sagaciousness.

Just then, Ashwin walked in to their little meeting, his eyes sharp and rather alert. ‘Erm, if I needn’t interrupt you, uh, I think we should leave now? It’s completely fine if we wait a bit, though.’ Nandita nodded, saying, ‘No, that’s not needed. We have so much to do and so little time. It’s best that we leave immediately. Tell the Deukyen fellow to take us along right now.’

Everyone else nodded, and Nandita walked forward, as if in lead. Swati walked alongside her, keeping an arm on her shoulder. Madhumita walked a bit further back, her gait slow and measured. Ashwin had already taken a front seat inside a rust-brown jeep that Nandita guessed was Deukyen’s.

Swati, Parvati and Nandita took the second row, Madhumita and Jasnoor took the third. Vignesh and Gaurav took the last row, which wasn’t exactly a row of seats, but was more like a storage centre, but as this was their only transport into town, they had to make do with it.