Insomnia and Me

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by 2012LRDM

by 2012LRDM

December 10, 2021,

I am not a morning person. At all.

I don't understand why school has to start so early! Can you believe that next year I have to wake up at 5 AM! The fact that I have insomnia and am a night owl doesn't help either! The idea that kids think more clearly in the morning, is a lie! I personally work better around noon. Apparently, schools don't know that, therefore, I'm stuck in this never-ending cycle of hell. Also, my nights are boring.

Is having dreamless nights common? Or is it just me?

Everyone else says that they were on a beach or hanging out with their friends or something cool in their dreams. I just close my eyes, and it feels like two seconds later it's morning. It feels like time never passed.

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Okay, my god, I'm panicking again.

Why, you ask?

It's because my dad wants to drive me to school.

Every day.

EVERY. DAY.

Most of you are probably thinking, "What's the big deal? Your dad drives you to school. So what?"

You've never met my dad.

He's intimidating, strict, hard to talk to, plus not relatable to me in any way! Every time we talk it's awkward, and we don't know what to talk about.

Did I mention he can see through me? Every time I lie.

It's impossible to sneak anything by him.

My mom only ever notices me when I get A's, and barely even then, and my dad barely ever notices me. It has gotten to the point where I cry from happiness when I get noticed. It's pathetic, I know, but I honestly can't help it.

And all this weight on my shoulders; It's slowly killing me. There's no other way to put it.

I always see posts online saying people have the same situations as me, but all of them are false. Sure, we may be in similar situations, but we don't have the same feelings.

I've always thought the saying, "The weight of the world is on my shoulders," was a lie.

Now... I feel it.

My classmates and friends are watching me type furiously right now, wondering if I'm okay, but I can't speak. It's like if I speak... I'll cry.

Signing out,

Melissa A. Brook