The Edge of Paradise

Chapter 6: Dreams

Everything's becoming harder to believe. Is this reality or am I caught in the middle of some dark twisted nightmare? Is plausible for me to think that Jacob might've been the one who wrote the note to Luke and might have something to do with his disappearance or am I just being paranoid? All I really know is one thing, I need answers. 

First off, what does I.A.M. stand for? Is it a code? a warning? Second, What about the note? what does it mean? who wrote it? and why? 

A high pitched squeak interrupted my thoughts as my mom entered the room. The bedroom door in desperate need of oiling. "Max, are you okay dear?" she asked tenderly as she approached, sitting next to me and closing the distance between us. Concern was clearly showing in her warm sapphire colored eyes. The complete opposite of me, in both appearence and personality, my mom was more willing to talk about her feelings and detected when things were wrong. "I know things must be hard for you with... everything that happened. I just want you to know that whatever you're feeling, its okay to let it out. Its okay to talk about it. Its okay to cry."

I looked at her for a while, wanting to break down, to scream it all out, to be held and be told that everything would be okay... but I can't. My body wouldn't let me. I couldn't bring myself to say anything to her so I switched my gaze to the floor. A small defeated sigh emerged from her mouth. "Just... just promise me you'll come to me if you need me honey" she said as she left, closing the door behind her.

I laid down on my bed and just stared at the ceiling. 

Beside my desk on a shelf lies a large old shoe box. In it lies old childhood toys, drawings, cards, yearbooks, pictures, and most importantly everything Luke has ever gotten me. I've been putting off opening it for a while, scared of the toxic wave of emotions it could release. 

Time to face my fears.

I dragged myself off the bed and yanked it off the shelf. A thick layer of dust had collected on the top and I stared blankly at it before blowing it off. When I opend it up, the first thing that caught my attention was a handmade, small brown teddy bear. Luke had made it for our first year anniversary. Woven across the bear's belly in gold colored thread were the words "I love you."

my eyes became blurry upon seeing what came next; a picture. 

A picture of me and Luke.

In it, my emerald eyes met his ocean blues, my hand carsessed against his heart and his arm around my waist. An incredible amount of emotions was exchanged between our smiles; mine vibrant, joyful, geniuine. Luke's caring, ethereal, passionate. Above all: happiness. 

I flipped it over to read the description on the back. A lump formed in my throat upon seeing it.

"Dear Max: Being able to have spent these last twelve months with you has been an amazing experience that I will never forget. I had never known it was possible to be loved in such a tender and caring way. I never known it was possible for me to be loved. My Life and Love are one and the same. Life has become very tender to me and i'm so fortunate to be able to spend my days with someone like you. Thanks for believing in me. Thanks for loving me until I learned to love myself.

I love you. Never, ever, forget that.

- Luke".

I felt my throat constrict tighter. "I could never forget it Luke..." a lone teardrop came crashing down my right eye, I felt my thumb slide against my cheek and catch the teardroop as it fell, preventing it from tainting Luke's beautiful handwriting. 

I crashed the picture against my chest as I finally felt the river of emotions come free. Hot, heavy tears flowed freely down my face. burning.

I collapsed against the bedsheets and a silent scream escaped my mouth and the tears kept flowing. Sad, Angry, Terrified, tears.