Good Enough ➳ Ross Lynch

017

Dear Ross

When you are reading this I'm gone, gone forever. I will never come back. 

I'm so sorry, I hope you understand. If you think I'm selfish the that is okay. I would of died anyway, that is what the doctor said. My anorexia would have killed me, so I killed myself instead. What is the point of growing old anyway?

I could not bare to live with all those negative thoughts anyway. I'm not good enough and I would never been. I never would be able to have children because I was too scared of gaining weight. If I ever were to get pregnant I would not have eaten and ended up killing the child. And if that had happened I would hate myself even more. 

I'm sorry that my suicide letter is boring, but ever since I was 11 years old I had eating problems which ended up with Anorexia. Okay I just remembered something. When I was 17 years old my mother did not let me go to Hawaii with a friend, but I was allowed to stay with that friend for the summer in London. Because my friend was already 18 she went and bought alocohol (I don't know if you know but here in England you are allowed to drink when you are 18 instead of 21). Anyway she bough loads of vodka and I ended up drinking so much my friend had to call an ambulance, hahaha. 
    I am pretty happy I'm born in England and not USA (sorry), but it sucks that you can't drink alcohol unless you are 21. 

Okay, this is all.

And, Ross. I truly did love you, and I'm deeply sorry for pushing you away, but I did it to protect you (and myself.) 

Yours truly
Iris xx