Believe Me ✔️

[11] Secret Keeper

Three Days Later

My heart pounds against my ribcage as I spring up in bed, ears ringing so loud I can't hear myself think or breathe. Sweat sticks to my forehead. Tears stain my cheeks. Where am I? I look around and notice all the familiar furniture and shapes of shadows I've gotten used to. The angel nightlight shines bright by the door and my breathing slows down and calms as I double check the door is locked. I use my sleeve to rub my forehead and pat my face dry. That was a horrible nightmare. I walk over to my temporary dresser and grab the painkillers out of the top drawer, shaking two in my hand and finishing them with one of the hundreds of water bottles I've left in here. I've had this horrible headache since last night and it will not go away. I check the time on my phone: 2:28 AM. There's no way I'm going back to sleep now, not after that nightmare I had. My stomach growls and I curse myself for skipping dinner again.

I raid the kitchen for something to snack on. Nothing good. I hold a frozen pizza in my hand. Hmm, three minutes in the microwave. Simple enough. I rip the box open and toss the pizza in, waiting against the counter for it to cook. Tyler's laptop sits in front of me, still unlocked from one of his last-minute assignments, probably for English. Curious, I spin the laptop around and find myself typing into the search bar. This is all I've been thinking about lately. My fingers shake as I type out the word, first 'r' and 'a' and 'p' then 'e', my heart aching as I hit enter. Over thirty million results. This makes me sick.

I can't stop myself from opening and reading article after article. I read cases about girls in high school being assaulted by their teaches and other classmates; children being molested by family members; girls' admitting to lying and faking their accusations about men. Sadly, I've been that girl. I ignore the microwave beeping and my stomach drops as I read a new headline: 'Young woman killed, dismembered, and dumped in lake after rejecting sexual advances from male coworker. As of now no charges have been made against said coworker as victim's family refuses to press charges.' That poor girl. Why isn't anyone getting justice for her?

Should I feel lucky Paul didn't murder me? Why are so many of these sick people walking free? Spending little to no months in jail and pity community service? Where's the justice? The judges let them walk free to live their lives while all those young girls and young boys and men and women have to learn how to live again. The microwave beeps again and I grab my pizza and take a bite, immediately huffing and puffing as the hot cheese burns the sides of my mouth. I hear footsteps in the living room and slam the laptop shut.

Tyler stumbles into the kitchen, eying the room suspiciously, and he screams when he finally notices me. "Damnit, Addy! What the hell are you doing? It's—" He glances at the time blinking over the stove. "—almost three am! Why do you sound like a dog?"

Four sentences. That's the most he's talked to me in the past three days. After I accused his best friend of raping me, he's been giving me the silent treatment. He still thinks it was someone else. "I couldn't sleep," I admit as I take another bite. It burns as much as the first. "And hungry."

"Didn't you eat dinner?" Tyler opens the fridge and grabs a water bottle. His hand freezes on the door as he carefully stares at me. "You've been eating, right?"

"Not really." There's no reason to lie. He'd see through me, anyhow. "I forget sometimes."

He stands across the island from me. "Addy, you can't forget to eat. Okay? I don't want anything to happen to you." Too late. "Not like last time. You don't want it to get bad again, do you?"

I roll my eyes. "Obviously not, Ty. It's not a conscious decision to not eat. My brain says 'eat' and I ignore it most of the time."

"But—"