some say that the feeling of loss or grief is a terrible thing to experience; that it hangs over you like a dark, ominous cloud and leaves you feeling vulnerable and ruptured, like a broken mirror. i say that it is like a release. the dust wasting away after settling in and leaving a tight knot in your gut. do you know how that feels? the constant constriction of your lower half and windpipe, as if someone was taking a wrench and tightening and loosening you as they very well please. once that feeling arrives, it is very difficult to do away with. every action leaves you feeling a little more tethered to this wretched world of perturbation than before. breathing deeply is said to help, yet that is an illusion; false hopes, a temporary deception. it grants you a false feeling of safety and comfort, only to be torn away from you soon enough. the search for inner peace is a long and strenuous journey for some, especially those who have been haunted by the illusion of unease for quite some time. but when it arrives, it is truly a sight to behold; the sense of relief and almost childlike innocence and delight is a beautiful rarity. as i sit back and catch a glimpse of a true smile, wide, toothy grins, the clear music of laughter, the raw passion and desire to so much as breathe, no longer concealed by a mask of agitation and misery, i too smile to myself, for it means that the arduous journey of inner self-doubt and affliction has been drawn to a close. the sun is setting, and you are here to see it. you have made it this far, possibly not far enough yet, or you are nearing the finish line, or perhaps your journey has only just begun. it is not impossible, though it may seem like it. it will be okay. embrace your flaws and beauty, and when you look in the mirror, no matter how shattered it may be, smile. only at the close of one's story does one realize how truly beautiful one can be when there is no illusion behind their smile.
