People Who Don't Want to Need People

it's hot but I put on a hoodie jacket

It's hot but I put on a hoodie jacket
With its hood, so tiny
Only for decoration.
I left my brother
Who watches 'Underwater'
In the living room
Which is also a dining room
Which is also a bedroom.

I asked  manong to
Drive me to Palawan Pawnshop,
I did not intend to go there
But to the shop beside it.

But the driver drove me
To the nearest Pawnshop
Fifteen minutes away from
My real destination.

I paid the fare, went out
And pretend to be busy scrolling.
Then waited for him to be far away
So I can start walking...

Tried a monologue on the phone
So everyone believed I'm calling someone

Exhausted when I came
Bursting through the door
"How much for a buzz?"

Their stares were razor sharp
But I was not wounded.
There were
Two masculine women on the sofa who seem to do a regular visit,
One kid, who seems to be asked to run errands all the time,
And one customer
With a star-shaped cut on the side of his head,
Their eyes bore on me.
I took out the phone
And let them see the photo of Eleven.
Stranger things came into their mind
But I go to the seat
Because I'm dead serious.

"Can I get your number?"
Said the woman.
"No." I replied.

I left everyone lighthearted
As I went home.
It's the only trip I made
Away from the house
Being happy to return.

I saw my brother watching TV,
Still the same position.
He greeted me with a scoff-
The most effortful respond
From someone who don't have emotion.

That's my reward
From leaving the house
With waist-length hair
And to return without the most of it.