I Want To Be A Criminal *vhope*

Better Than Painkillers

Hosouk came home late that day after he left v at the tunnel last night he didn't go home right away he passed by a corner store and got some pain killers, one of the reasons why he wanted to have this life and work in that field is the fact that he had hated his life and humanity, he hated his parents and everything.

he attempted suicide many times but failed because something inside him told him to just bare it for a little longer.

he would always be feeling pain in his heart, pain that he never understood what it had to do with anything, he always felt an unpleasant feeling inside, he always felt discouraged and tired, he stayed like this with his state getting worse and worse every day until he became cold, dead.

he would feel pain but being used to it by now he would just start taking pain killers or do some cuts on him self it always made him feel good, it felt like he had done something, achieved something, he discribed the cuts on his arm as art and they did look amazing just the cuts, the scars, the redness every thing to the pleasent feeling he gets when he passes the blade on his soft yet bumpy skin from all the cuts, makes him feel good, like he had achieved something.

He alway thought he needed help but never got it because his family was too oblivious and ignorant to notice the pain and the sadness he was going through.

by the time he got enough freedom to just go wherever, he had lost hope in healing, he could have seen a Psychologist or a therapist or anything but he didn't , he got used to it cutting him self became fun, being alone became his happy time, taking endless pain killers was his way and the sever pian became healing, talking to himself became a habit and distancing away from people became his experty.

After he got the pain killers he just kept wondering, not wanting to go back home and meeting the people who brought him into this miserable world filled with people who just deserve to die.

He took 3 pills then went and sat on the sidewalk curb he got the bag of cocaine out of his backpack he got out one of the smaller plastic bags and opened it, it smelled like ether, like gasoline, something about it was attracting him, he then diped his pinky in the pag getting some of the powder on his finger and then tasted it.

it has a bitter taste, it left hosouk's mouth in a numbing state, hosouk's eyes widend at the effect no pain killers could give that effect, hosouk got his phone out and searched how to use cocaine he found that there are 3 ways smoking, snorting, or injecting he decided to try injection it looked the easiest, he went back to the corner store he got a syringe, a lighter and a pack of aluminum spoons.

He put some cocaine on the spoon and started heating it up whith the lighter until it became liquid he sucked the liquid in whith the syringe, the syringe was now filled with this amazing numbing medicine but in a liquid form.

He put the needle in his arm, he pushed the needle in and then injected the liquid in his body he instantly felt numb, he felt good, he was energetic and happy, the pain in his chest disappeared and he couldn't feel anything but cheerfulness and satisfaction, he didn't want the feeling to end but soon it did, he decided to end it for today. He put the remaining of what's in the small bag with the other ones, he puted them i his backpack and started heading home.

Okay soooo I know I hate this part too something about it is just....... I don't know iam just not really satisfied with it but this has been in my drafts for so long maybe like a week or more, working on it almost everyday but can't get it to sound like I want it to, so I know it's bad but it is just one out of many that iam still willing to post, if I have any ideas on how to fix it of course I will and if you have any suggestions of course I will read them. Again sorry for the bad chapter 😅also this story is almost at 100 readers (kind of) but if it does reach a 100 iam probably going to be so freaking happy. Thanks to you all