Master of Madness

The masked man

I just can't believe that I have to do this mission with an idiot like you, of all people. ", Deidara mumbled annoyed as he run through the forest next to Tobi. "After all, our job requires finesse. And let's be honest, you don't have it, hm. "

"But senpai, Tobi is a lot more inconspicuous than you!"

"What ?!" growled the blond as he jumped over a fallen tree. When he landed, he whirled up some dust and kicked it against his partner's mask.

"Iaaaah, senpai!", Tobi screamed and swayed before he went down with a bump.

Without turning around to look at the masked man, Deidara kept walking undeterred. If only the other wouldn't wear his nerves like that. It was all Sasori's fault! Why did the puppeteer have to be killed?

"Wait senpai. You need me for this mission. "

"I don't need you for anything, idiot, hm.", said Deidara.

"Yes, for the inconspicuousness!", Tobi replied again, which made Deidara stop and turn around to his partner.

"You are not inconspicuous, Tobi!" Growled the blonde and pressed Tobi against a tree.

How did the other think that something in him was nondescript? Neither his childish manner nor his stupid looks. Surprised by the thought, Deidara's visible eye widened when an idea occurred to him. A sly smile spread across his features.

"But I'm sure that you COULD be more inconspicuous."

With his knuckles Deidara hit playfully against the orange mask of his partner, leaning close to his hidden face.

"You just have to get rid of this ridiculous thing and you would be less conspicuous than me, hm."

Thoughtfully tapping his finger against the mask, Tobi pretended to be seriously considering his senpai's suggestion.

"Noooo, better not. Otherwise my incredibly good looks would draw even more attention to us."

"Pah." Deidara turned away with a derogatory laugh. "Come on now, you've wasted enough time already, hm."

And so the two Akatzuki members ran in silence next to each other. They hadn't got much information from Pain, only that they had to go undercover for this mission. A contact person near Konoha would provide them with the information you need. They would recognize him. Or better. He would recognize them as long as they were still allowed to wear their coats.

Actually, Deidara didn't like these undercover missions. He preferred to just blow everything up. It was faster and a lot more artistic than boring hiding and sneaking.

The blonde could only hope that Tobi was not somehow unconsciously sabotaging the job again. The guy was a hopeless idiot. Should they actually have to sneak into Konoha, that would definitely be a problem. A problem that Deidara only knew how to solve with explosions. And that would more than annoy Pain.

And annoying Pain wasn't too high on Deidara's list.

He wasn't that suicidal.

"Oi, senpai. Look! There's a weird guy standing up there. No, wait. There are more people. "

"Damn it!", Deidara growled angrily as he frantically grabbed Tobi and pulled him into the bushes.

They tripped over a tendril and fell to the ground together while Tobi came to rest on top of Deidara.

"Get off me, idiot!" The blonde hissed angrily and tried to push the taller man away. Tobi, however, seemed to like this new position between the legs of his senpai.

"Shh senpai. Otherwise they'll hear us! " Tobi whispered, giggling. "Besides, if you'd like to do something like that with me in the bushes, all you have to do is ask, silly."

"Bastard, hm!" Deidara growled with suppressed anger and a bright red head.

But the idiot was right. He had seen the teenagers' headbands. They were clearly ninja from konoha. If they were to attract attention now, their job would be lost ... and pain furious.

Deidara heard the steps approaching and pressed against Tobi's chest in vain. "Get off!" "Shhh!"

Surprised by the muscular strength of his stupid partner, the blonde looked into the masked face of the other. Not for the first time did he wonder what the man was hiding behind it.

The steps of the others became louder and louder and he could already understand individual fragments of the conversation.

"And then I mastered it with the strength of youth," said an enthusiastic male voice.

"Great," replied a girl while another voice just snorted disdainfully.

Tobi above him began to wiggle a little and Deidara cursed him inwardly. He would blow the idiot into a thousand small pieces.

Why did his partner have to straighten his back while he was lying on top of him. Wasn't it enough that he felt him from head to toe. Did Tobi have to press, of all things, their crotches together? It was so embarrassing. Deidara could feel the blood pumping in his ears.

The leaves rustled suspiciously and there was no way the teenagers would not catch them. Deidara was already getting ready for Pain's anger. He was so dead.

"Hey, what's there? There in the bushes? ", The blonde heard the girl ask as the steps accelerated and ...

"Uaaahhh. What is ... are you all right? Are you injured? ", The girl screamed and according to the noises she tried to get closer. The bomber was about to begin the most believable lie about a sprained ankle when someone else beat him to it.

"Everything's okay.", Rumbled a deep voice which made Deidara pause in shock. Was that...?

"My wife and I just wanted to enjoy some togetherness." The rough, deep voice that seemed to come from his partner distracted Deidara from his words.

Otherwise he would have been offended to be mistaken for a woman. And while Deidara was still trying to link the new voice to his jittery partner, one of the teenagers continued to speak.

"If you both want to relax a bit, I know a great place where .."

"Lee, I don't think we should bother them any further.", interrupted the girl.

"Sorry for interrupting you," she said politely and pulled the two boys with her. From a distance Deidara could still hear them arguing.

"But why did we have to .."

"Didn't you see what was going on? ", growled another boy's voice.

There was nothing more to be heard until ... "THEY HAD SEX!?!?"

"Tobi, if you don't get up immediately, nothing will survive from you but an annoying memory, hm!", He growled with difficulty. How much he would like to yell at his partner and let him taste a C2. But the risk that the teenagers would hear them was too great to risk.

"I'm curious how you will carry out your threat, Deidara.", The deep voice of his partner whispered menacingly.