The Billionaire Recluse & The girl who stayed.

My minds a fucked up place.

~ Jasper ~

Shit.

Shit, shit, shit.

She tried to kiss me.

And I stopped her.

The image won't leave my head.

The way she leaned in—soft, unsure, but certain at the same time.

Like it felt right to her.

Like I felt right to her.

And for a split second—

I almost let it happen.

I almost gave in.

God, I wanted to.

I wanted to close that distance.

To feel her.

To see if she tasted the way she smelled—like strawberries and something warmer I couldn't quite place.

I wanted it more than I've wanted anything in a long time.

And that—

That's exactly the problem.

—

I ran a hand through my hair, pacing the room.

Dr Greene had left.

Of course she had.

Confidentiality.

That contract meant she wouldn't say a word to Lexi.

Not about the drinking.

Not about the nightmares.

Not about the medication.

Not about how completely unstable my head has become.

It stays between me, her, and Lilly.

That's how it has to be.

Because Lexi—

Lexi doesn't need to know.

She shouldn't know.

—

I stopped pacing, gripping the edge of the desk.

I stopped taking my medication.

I can admit that much.

The voice in my head told me I didn't need it anymore.

That it was making me worse.

That it was dulling everything.

Slowing me down.

Weakening me.

So I stopped.

And now—

Now I can't shut anything off.

The memories are louder.

Sharper.

Relentless.

The fire doesn't come in flashes anymore.

It stays.

Plays out in full.

Over and over.

Like I'm trapped in it.

And the only thing that even slightly numbs it—

Is alcohol.

That's it.

That's all I've got.

And even that doesn't last.

—