Love, Sana! ✅

E.11.

Sana and Sid start walking towards their home from the restaurant. The roads were not so busy as it was 10:30pm. They crossed the main road holding each other's hand unknowingly but they didn't leave it even after crossing, instead their hands were entwined further. It wasn't a normal thing for Sana. But her heart just didn't wanted to leave his hand. There was a silence for a long time until Sid speaks.

Sid: So Sana, what's your full name?

Sana: (smiles) Sahana Srinivas Bhat.

Sid: Srinivas is your father's name?

Sana: Yes. My Appa was a pilot and Amma, Janaki Srinivas Bhat was a classical Bharatanatyam dancer.

Sid: Wow, so you learnt dancing from your mother?

Sana: Yes. She is my dance guru as well. I officially learnt Bharatanatyam from her when I was 8 years old. Unofficially, I used to often dress up like her and dance looking at her video cassette tape since the age of 3.

Sidharth: So cute. Do you dance now as well?

Sana: 8 years back, I lost both my parents in a car accident when they were returning from a dance programme. It was my dance programme and I had stayed back to come with my friends that day. I was 24 then, I stopped dancing after the incident.

He looked at her. She had tears accumulated in the corner of her eyes.

Sid: I am sorry.

Sana: (She wipes the tears with her other hand) Tell me about yourself.

Sid: I am Sidharth Gujral. 35 year old. Rest is all history which I don't want to think about or even talk about it. I've learnt to live in present from you.

Sana: Hmm.. yes, remembering bitter past can only leave you in pain. We need to only take lessons from them and move ahead in life.

Sid: Sana, I feel you held yourself back too. Why did you leave dancing?

Sana: I grew up suddenly after that incident. I had to prioritise my needs now than my dance.

Sid: Hmmm..

There was some more silence between the two.

Sidharth: Sana, our conversation was left pending due to Bharath's interruption. Sana, I don't have anything with me to give you at the moment but I want to give you the time, the care, the affection, the attention and the love you craved for. You said the relationship of boyfriend has no commitment and they can leave you anytime. I don't want to leave you. I don't want to give you a fake promise but a real commitment until we are together. I want to fulfill all your dreams. Marry me.

Sana loosened her fingers and pulled out her hand slowly from his grip. He looked at her, this was the second time she pulled her hand from his hand after his proposal. He had thought that she left his hand due to Bharath's presence on the first instance but this time he felt the reason was different.

Sid: I am sorry Sana. I think I crossed my limits. I forgot that we were suppose to act. I started having a genuine feeling...

Sana: Sid, please don't be sorry. You haven't crossed your limit. It's just that there is no future to our relationship.

Sid: But Sana, future will always be uncertain. We cannot stop living today just because we are uncertain about our future. Remember, these are your own words which you spoke while eating the chocolate I gave you?

She was silent as she was lost in thoughts.

I like him and if it was any normal situation, I would have been the happiest to be proposed by him. He wanted to commit suicide because he was betrayed by his closed one. My motive was to save him from doing so and I lied to him in that circumstance. But now the circumstances have changed. If he learns tomorrow that I lied to him and that I am not suffering from any disease, he will feel even more betrayed. I don't want to him to feel betrayed and go back to take such extreme steps again.