Groupie | Jilix

15

Jisung picked up the phone when it rang, seeing Chan's caller I.D show up on the screen. He was getting ready to go to bed after an exhausting day of rehearsals and whatnot, so talking to Chan this late, while a little tiring, wouldn't hurt too bad. 

"Hey, what's up?" Jisung asked with a cheery tone. 

"Hey, um... can I come over? There's something I want to talk about with you..." Chan requested quietly. He sounded benevolent and uneasy when speaking, which only made Jisung that much more concerned. 

"Uh... yeah. What's going on?"

"I'll explain when I get there. I'll see you in a few," Chan said and hung up. Jisung wasn't sure what to do now, sitting on the edge of his bed. His hand dropped to his lap as he stared at the wall, trying his best not to overthink anything, but he knew that it wasn't going to work. 

There was a multitude of things that could've been happening for Chan to have a reaction like this, but Jisung couldn't say for certain what it was. Did something happen to him? Did he hear something about the release? It was clearly something negative based on the hurried way he spoke. 

Minutes passed by and he heard a knock on the door. He got up, walking over to the front of the dorm, and looked through the peephole to check who it was before opening the door once he saw Chan's face. Chan looked nervous as hell, looking down at the ground and fiddling with his fingers. It didn't make Jisung feel any better.

Chan didn't say anything, and instead, just pushed his way into the dorm, and took a seat on the sofa. Jisung nervously shut the door before walking over and sitting next to the elder. "Is everything okay?" Jisung's leg was bouncing now with anxiety as he waited for an answer from Chan. He started playing with his hands and the hem of his shirt, not sure what was going on. He looked over at Chan, expecting an answer. 

"It's about Felix," Chan spoke suddenly. This made Jisung even more anxious than before. It was always something negative about Felix when Chan started talking about him. "Look, I know I gave him so much shit before without knowing anything. And I know how much you hated that, yet I still did it anyway, and I'm sorry for that, but he is a piece of shit," Chan explained. 

"Chan. You can't just come to my house at two in the morning and say stuff like that without expecting me to get upset at you," Jisung sighed, not wanting to hear it anymore. 

Before Jisung could get up and leave, Chan stopped him by putting his arm in front of him, blocking his path. "Just... listen to this, okay?" Chan pulled his phone out of his pocket, opening the voice recorder app and playing the most recent recording of the conversation in the store. 

"What happened?"

"What was he talking about neglecting your boyfriend?"

"What?"

"He asked me if I knew why you were neglecting Jisung. What is that all about?... Look, I'm not a part of yours and Jisung's relationship, okay? I don't want any part of that. If you mess that up, you're on your own. I'm not helping you with that. That's your problem to deal with, not mine. I might be fucking you, but that doesn't mean ignore your boyfriend. If you don't want to be with him, you figure that out yourself. I'm not going to be your experiment to play with so that you can figure your feelings out. That's not what this arrangement was. This was purely to satisfy your and my needs... If you're not going to say anything, then I'm going to leave. Go spend time with your fucking boyfriend. If that's what you even want to call him, anyway... You figure yourself out. I'm gonna go."

With each passing sentence Changbin spoke, he felt his heart break more and more, shattering into a million pieces as he heard his whole world fall apart. Tears pricked at his eyes as he listened to the recording. 

"I went to Felix's store earlier. I wasn't expecting to get anything out of it, but that happened. I'm sorry that you're finding out like this, but it's best that you know now rather than later. At least now you'll have time to process it before your release," Chan explained, knowing that Jisung was surely going to be upset with him. Not because he did anything wrong, but because he was there and needed someone to take his frustration and grief out on. 

Jisung stared at the phone, slowly shaking his head, wanting to deny the reality of the situation. That wasn't Felix talking. That wasn't Changbin talking. That wasn't Chan's phone sitting there on the coffee table. That wasn't Chan sitting next to him on the sofa. None of this was real and he wasn't going to let it be real. 

"Look, Jisung... I know you're upset. I understand that, but please say something," Chan pleaded, completely worried about the younger after he hadn't spoken or even blinked since before he played the recording. 

"Get out."

Chan didn't know what to do. He sat there staring at Jisung. Was he supposed to leave just like Jisung had asked, or should he stay with the younger to watch over him? "Sung, please-"

"I said get out!" Jisung yelled, his emotions going overdrive. He wanted to be alone. Having a presence near him, even Chan's presence was stressing him out to no end. He didn't turn to look at Chan, but instead, squeezed his eyes shut tight, banging his hands on his thighs, trying to get all the emotion he could out of his system without hurting anyone.

Despite Jisung's eyes being closed, Chan could see the tears fall down his face, falling into his mouth and on his shirt. The boy was broken; completely shattered, and he didn't know how long it would be before he would be put together again if he ever would be. 

Chan grabbed his phone, holding it in his lap, looking at the younger in concern for a moment before standing up. "If you need anything, please call me."

Jisung didn't say anything in response and just brought his legs up to his chest, curling himself into a tiny ball, ducking his head into his knees. Chan looked at him for a moment more with pity before sighing and walking out, locking the door behind him. 

Now that Jisung was all alone in the dorm, his brain scattered. It was going a million miles an hour, not letting him think anything through rationally as one thought would pounce right on top of the other. He let out an agonizing yell of frustration, the tears making waterfalls down his cheeks. He knew he couldn't be too loud since he had neighbors right next door, but at this moment he didn't care. He had to let his frustration and anguish out somehow. He started breathing heavily, each breath being just as loud as the next, struggling to inhale all the way. This caused him to go lightheaded, so he laid himself down on the sofa, still curled into himself.

Chan had been right all along. He somehow knew, and Jisung was just too blind to see it. Every single time that he defended Felix, it had all just gone to waste. Every time that he told Felix that he loved him, worthless. His love and affection fell onto a dull black heart that held nothing but self-indulgence and greed. There was no room for Jisung in Felix's heart. Maybe for a little bit, but it wasn't going to last. Jisung should've realized sooner when Felix was too hesitant to get a job, or when he started flaking on him, or when he stopped putting the 'I' in front of 'love you'. 

That night, he fell asleep on the sofa, curled into himself, trying not to choke on his tears and sobs. 

***

"Can we talk?" Jisung asked over the phone, hesitant to even bring the situation up. 

"Jisung, I don't have time for this right now. I'll see you at your release party, okay?" Felix stated sternly, hanging up immediately after. 

Jisung heard the dial tone once the line was cut off, and dropped the phone to his lap. He looked down at it in disbelief from the way Felix was acting. Did he know he got caught?

"If you were so busy, why'd you answer?" He mumbled to himself. 

------

Hey, so here's another chapter. It's kinda short, but that's okay. This one's actually really sad, I'm sorry about that. I kinda cried a little while writing it, but I'm also just easily hurt. The next one isn't going to be any better. 

There's one more planned chapter after this and then it's finished. I might write an epilogue, depending on how I feel about the end, but I'm not sure yet. We'll see. 

Anyways, that's it for this one. Feel free to comment and vote. I hope you have a nice day/night/time!