Hard to Feel Free ~ Sample

Chapter One

Chapter One

“I’m sorry Jake,” I said as I squirmed towards the edge of our bed, my body trembling violently from the aftermath of another vicious nightmare.

“Hey…Shh Abbie,” he whispered, embracing me from behind, “It’s okay baby, just a dream…just a dream.”

Jake held me close, gently stroking my hair; patiently holding and comforting until I regained my composure.

“Shh, it’s okay,” he soothed, kissing my temple.

I leaned my head back against him, my heart still pounding in my chest, “I don’t think I can do this anymore.” Jake brought his hands to my arms and turned me towards him, “I can’t…I can’t go through with it…I can’t do it. I don’t want to see him anymore Jake! Please!” I cried, panic striking me to the core. My stomach flipped, and tears slipped down my cheeks as I searched his eyes for a way out of my living nightmare.

“Hey…Shh. Don’t cry baby,” he said, lifting his hand to my face and catching my tears with his thumb.

I shook my head slowly, dropping my gaze in fear of what was coming. The frequency and severity of the nightmares had increased of late as Peter’s trial neared its conclusion and were no longer bearable. I’d woken in a blind panic for the last five nights. Exhaustion was now taking its toll on my sanity.

“Look at me Abbie,” he said, gripping my chin, “You…are the strongest person I have ever met. We’ll get through this together. I’ll be with you all the way baby. I promised you at the start and I meant it. We’re nearly there. You’ve done the hard part. It will be over soon. Okay?”

“I know…it’s just…” I closed my eyes for a moment, taking stock of my fears, “I can’t take anymore Jake; I just want a normal life.”

“I know baby. Not long now,” he promised, holding my face in both his hands.

It was hard to believe we were just over three years into our relationship; it seemed like a lifetime. Jake and I were soul mates personified. We’d met when I moved to a new school just before my eighth birthday. Our friendship grew out of similarities and shared interests. We became inseparable until his dad’s posting with the army moved him half way across the country.

My life took a nose dive when he left. Through no fault of Jake’s I was plunged into the most horrific ordeal imaginable and carried the resulting trauma alone for ten years before Jake arrived in Casey for the senior year of high school.

Shocked at his reappearance and fearful of him finding out about Peter, I acted like a bitch towards him, but Jake persisted and eventually won me over. We’d been together ever since. He’d promised to stand by me and vowed that bastard would pay for what he’d done.

Jake rested his forehead against mine, stroking my cheek tenderly. I moved my arms around him and snuggled into his embrace.

“I love you so much Jake Ashton.” I leaned up a little and kissed his cheek.

“Love you more,” he said, pulling me back to the bed. Jake rubbed my arm as I rested my head in the crook of his neck and breathed in his familiar and calming scent. I ran my fingers absentmindedly through the light sprinkling of hair across his chest as I reflected on the trial so far. The whole traumatic process had certainly taken its toll on us both, but we’d held firm, growing in strength over the last three years.

When Peter Stevens tried to rape me again in a back room at my eighteenth birthday party Jake had realized just in time what was happening. In a fit of protective rage he’d beaten Peter to a pulp while sustaining knife wounds to his side and arm. The police placed Peter under arrest for assault with a deadly weapon and attempted rape.