Hard to Feel Free ~ Sample

Chapter Three

Chapter Three

“Guilty.”

As soon as that word was spoken the ground gave way beneath my feet. Jake grabbed hold of me before I hit the ground.

“I got ya baby.”

Emotional cries and gasps erupted behind us as I struggled to get my breath. With my back tight against Jake and clinging to the strong arms holding me up; Peter’s eyes found mine, his expression completely devoid of emotion or remorse. Swallowing past the lump in my throat I turned into the comfort of Jake’s embrace. My heart pounded so hard I thought it would jump out of my body as the enormity of the moment began to sink in.

It was incomprehensible to me that we had reached this point. It was finally over. Of course this didn’t take away all those years of hurt or the damage he’d inflicted on me, both physically and mentally. But it was proof of the validity of the American justice system. Tears of relief spilled from my eyes as I clung to Jake at the front of the court-room.

“Oh my God Jake.”

“It’s done baby…It’s done now,” Jake reassured me, dropping a comforting kiss to the top of my head, “Come on love, let’s go home hey?”

I nodded and inched carefully along the seating until I reached the aisle that led to the back of the court room and the exit.

My mom forced a tight smile from where she and Martin stood amongst our close friends and supporters in the vast foyer. Relief should have been the emotion of the moment, but all I felt was a numbness, ebbing its way through my body. My head grew fuzzy as the confusion of multiple voices distorted in my ears. Everything fogged over and seemed distant as Jake guided me through the gathering.

I became aware of someone blocking our path and froze as I realized who that person was.

“Abbie…I’m so very sorry. I- I should have stopped him. I thought he’d stopped. I thought he…”

I shook my head violently as Jillian’s words hit me full on. She’d known? She’d known what he was doing and said nothing?

“You knew?” I whispered. My last vestige of control snapped and I launched myself at her before Jake or anyone could stop me.

“You knew and you let him…” I cried as I pushed her against the wall, “He took everything from me Jill. He took my…You let him?”

“I’m sorry Abbie,” she whimpered, shaking her head as tears of guilt pooled in her eyes.

Words failed me; I crumpled then, my legs dissolving beneath me, my head spun and the room faded. I sensed someone grab onto me from behind, as everything and everyone before me faded into blackness.

***

The distant thudding of a heartbeat became clearer in my ears as my eyes fought against the darkness holding them hostage. The familiar scent of our apartment filled my nostrils as I snuggled into Jake’s neck. He carried me along the hallway to our bedroom. After backing through the door and crossing the wooden floor, he lowered me carefully onto our bed. Jake sat beside me, brushing the hair from my face; his eyes searching my dazed features for any signs of distress.

“How you doin baby?”

I frowned as confusion gave way to a clearer recollection of that afternoon’s events and Jillian’s admission in the courthouse. My breath hitched in my throat as her words punctuated my mind, interrupting Jake’s question.

He ran his knuckles gently down my cheek, his eyes reflecting increasing concern at my silence.

“Abbie?”