Study hall

"Can't I just have a moment of silence, just once it's like this every period" Justin said? Every study hall period is nosey and you can't even hear yourself think but at least James doesn't take advantage of that. He's always trying to make sure I am alright it's been that way since elementary school. "Dude are you okay you've been like this since the third period"

"I am okay it's just that ..."

After second period James went to hang out with this girl he's liked since freshmen year and still hasn't had the guts to ask out. Which is a good thing for me, but lately they've been getting a little bit too friendly. We usually go to lunch together but this past week he's been ignoring me.

"Dude look at me"

He puts his arm around my shoulder and my heart skips a beat a little bit. I look at his olive-green eyes and slender nose and I can't believe I have a fucking crush on my best friend.

"I am okay don't worry about it" I give him a reassuring smirk and join the conversation he was having with Jerry, Bianca and Bethany"

" and that's how I got away from the police," said Jerry

"And that's why you're a felon"

said Bianca.

"I am not a felon it's not on my record"

"Sure," Bianca said rolling her eyes.

"You okay Justin " Betheney asked

"Fine" why does everyone want to know mental state all of a sudden

" So what you guys talking about"

"Jerry thinks his escape from the police isn't on his permanent record" James adds

"It's true I went to a juvenile correction school over the summer so I am clean"

I think about how I became friends with these people and then I say it out loud

"How I am friends with you guys"

"Shut up you know you love us," James said

Yea I love you and only you. I almost say out loud when our token freshmen ask if anyone can touch their nose with their tongue and we all laugh.

After school

Every day James and I walk home together except on Tuesday and Thursday. That's when I have baseball practice and that's when he has swimming practice. Those days are my least favorite for obvious reasons but today is Wednesday and that means eating ice cream from Baskin robins across from school and a long walk with just the two of us.

"So want to talk about what was bothering you earlier today," James asks taking a lick of his vanilla ice cream

"Not really "

"Not really? Dude, seriously you have been like this all week did I do something "

"No, it's not you"

"Then what is it?"

"It's just that..." I pause looking at my ice cream trying to come up with an excuse that he would actually believe "I am not a starter in baseball yet"

"Oh! I mean that's what you were worried about I thought you didn't really care for that stuff. "

"I don't, it's just that I want girls to like me more," I say with a laugh

"girls? "So you wanna be popular" James laughs

"Since when did you care about that"

Since you started hanging out with that girl from the softball team. That's what I want to say but I keep that to myself.

"I don't know, I guess I just want a girlfriend."

"What I am not good enough for you?" James says in a cheeky way

"When did your standards get so high "

"Shut up," I say pushing him a little bit

"Enough about me what about Alexa?"

"You ditched me to go see her at lunch today, am a little hurt"

Scratch that A LOT HURT but again I keep that to myself.

"I don't know man these days I feel like we are really hitting it off," James adds eating the last of his ice cream

"Really!" I say trying to sound encouraging

Yea! She even said that we can hang out on Saturday to watch Venom

"But I don't know if she meant has a group or just the two of us "

"Her friend came in and said that it sounds like a good idea so I am not sure if she wants to come too ."

"I think she meant as a group "

To be honest I think she wanted to go on a one-on-one date with him I mean if it was me I wouldn't even debate about going on a date with James. And yes, I know I'm not a good friend for lying to him but come on I can't just sit back and watch my best friend go on a date with a girl and act like I'm okay with it. I have feelings too.

"Oh," James says feeling a little disappointed.

Okay know I feel like an asshole

"Come one dude don't get too worked up at least you will be with her the whole day"

"I can come with you if you want"

"Really you don't mind"

"Of course not dude anything for you"

"Thanks" James smiles

And just like that were at his house

I say goodbye and turn around to walk to my house

I look at my hand to see that my ice cream has now melted.

"Great"

I say and walk home.