Half the world away

Chapter 14

Ruby

Sitting with Roodie and Sita's adorable daughter Beth, on my lap as I braided her hair while she sang me Disney songs, making Stevie and Gina smile at the young girl.

"It's so pretty!" She squealed looking at her reflection with a smile.
"Thankyou Ruby!" She flung her arms around me pulling me into a tiny tight hug before she skipped off and jumped on Sammys back nearly knocking him on the floor.

I couldn't help but stare at him with a warm smile on my face. I didn't know what to feel about him after we kissed the other night. We hadn't spoke about it and part of me was to embarrassed to bring it up.

"Still with us Rubes?" Gina said splashing me from the pool.

"Yeah, no kind of?" I said dipping my legs on the cool water.

"That was the opposite of convincing Rubes." Stevie said sitting besides me handing me and Gina fresh drinks.

"Sorry, heads kinda all over the place." I said truthfully as I took a sip of my beer and looked towards Sammy as he got chased with a super soaker by an evilly laughing Beth.

Stevie and Gina both filling gaze and shared a look.
"Oh?" They both said raising an eyebrow at me.

"It's not like that." I defended.

"So what's it like?" Rico asked sitting on the other side of me.

"Where'd you come from?" I asked surprised by his sudden appearance.

"Don't change the subject to me." He laughed nudging me.

I sighed knowing I wasn't getting out of this one.
"Me and Sammy kissed the other night and now I have no clue on what to do." I said directly.

"Wait what? I thought you were gonna say you were starting to like him. But you guys kissed?" Gina said with a smirk.

"So what's the problem? You don't like him like that or?" Stevie asked me gently as if she could see how much space this was taking up in my mind.

"Sammys amazing, he always has been. And of course I love him he's my best friend. But let's say for arguments sake that I did love him as more than my best friend what would it matter, My visa runs out in a few weeks and I'll be back in London." They were quite after I said that just looked at me with different emotions.
"If I did like him like that and told him to find out he felt the same, what good would it do? It would only make leaving here harder than it's already gonna be." I sighed.

"And keeping it to yourself isn't gonna help either it'll tear you apart." Rico said softly.

"Better me than him when I leave." I said looking up at Sammy across the garden making up a few burgers and laughing with West.

Rico put his arm around me and pulled me into his side. It wasn't a hug I knew I needed it until I got it. It was gonna be hard leaving the friends I'd made over here. But leaving Sammy just when I'd got him I don't know how I'm gonna deal with that.

Sammy glanced over at us and a smile came over his face as he held up a freshly made burger, and gestured me over. Despite the feeling of being emotionally pulled apart by this I smiled and got up from the pool side and went over to him.

"Fresh off the grill." He smiled handing it to me.

My stomach rumbled on que as I took a bite of the delicious burger.
"Damn this is good." I said wiping sauce from the corner of my mouth.

Sammy just looked at me with an unreadable smile. There was something about it that made me feel like I was under a microscope as his sea green eyes stared into mine, before he turned back to the bbq. I felt my heart clench as the thought of leaving here hit, the thought of leaving him. I felt like I couldn't breathe. Like my windpipe was full of tar.

"Ruby you okay?" Jesse said putting his hand on my shoulder.

Flicking my eyes to him I saw Sammy, West and Danny looking at me with confusion and concern etched on their faces.

"Excuse me a minute." I whispered before turning on my heels and walked out of the side gate.

And ran, I didn't really have clue where I was going but I just needed to run. The mixed up feelings were like an anchor around me. My chest burnt as the soles of my sandals smacked against the hot tarmac until I reached Clovelly beach.

Reading the name on the sign post sent me into a flashback of one of the beaches my uncles used to take me to in Devon by the same name. It didn't help the confusion going on in my head. The stars had come out by the time I sat down in the sand listening to the waves crash against the shoreline.

I stood up from the sand and pulled off my sundress and ran for the water. I didn't stop until I was deep enough to dive under a swim below in the pitch black water. Swimming up and down as the complicated mess of emotions in my head and heart seemed to dissolve like the sea foam.

I felt calm and free, as I turned onto my back letting myself just float. Completely at the mercy of the ocean. But I didn't fee anything aside from peace as I gazed up at the star filled sky, mentally connecting them creating new constellations. The millions of tiny stars glowing, twinkling and dancing above me. It was so beautiful, the moons strong light shining down illuminating the water. The silver light reflecting on to me.

How am I gonna leave this place? Do I even want to leave this place?