Edward's Wacky Adventures

Edward's Wacky Adventure

 Edward was in search for a sugar daddy. His first idea was to go on Omegle. He saw too many peens, so he sought out something better. Some giant, voluptuous kankles began to form in his recent dreams. They glittered under a spotlight; these beautiful kankles. The spotlight moved up following the body and landed on his face and he saw him. Camodo the chameleon glittered in his dream, kankles on display. Edwards eyes were glued on Camodo, mainly his kankles, but he wondered, "How could a chameleon as beautiful as this exist?"

Suddenly, he woke up in a cold sweat, taking in his surroundings. He sat up and looked towards the edge of his bed, his kankles were bulging, stretching past his toenails and flooding his blankets. Again, he realized that he was actually in a sewer rat's bodega with a laceration on his abdomen. He remembered that he was stabbed just recently after he fled Shrek the Musical. During the production, he was the Pinocchio and his dad was playing Donkey, when the giant prop Shrek fell on them and Donkey's blade punctured Edwards belly button. The sewer rat was a well known surgeon and a close friend and former lover of Edwards. Edward was sad and poor and couldn't afford to pay for the medical procedure but the rat still beckoned him to come in. The first thing he saw was the surgeon's fat ass when he walked through the door. His first thought after seeing this hottie was "Is he my sugar daddy?" Then he thought, "What a dumpy."

He said aloud, "Please help me father fat ass--- I mean Faarquad. I've been stabbed." Doctor Faarquad was shocked but still interested. "Sit down," commanded Daddy, "Let me examine you." Edward realized that this rat was a phony and decided that this wasn't the sugar daddy for him, even though he had a fat dumpy and a sick bodega. He left the bodega, leaving t a trail of blood on the sidewalk before he collapsed. In his stupor, he felt strong arms gather up, carrying to safety before Edward fell into complete oblivion.

As his eyes started to flutter open and his senses began to come back, he woke up staring at a beige man staring back down at him with a raised eyebrow and a smirk. Edward stares at this man, there was a spark unlike anything he has every experienced before. What muscle, What abs, what chiseled jaw this specimen of a man had.  He has the most charming attitude towards Edward until Edward noticed that the beige man was pouring a white claw, mango flavored, into his wound. They looked into each others eyes and their faces drew nearer. This burnt marshmallow man whispered into his ear, "Your wound is healed," his breath caressing Edward's ear gently. His ear wiggled at the cool air and suddenly there was no more pain. Then he looked around and found himself in a Ferrari. He knew that this was the one. "I think you're my daddy." And they kissed as the rode off to the Beige Man's fat pad.