Professor | d.m

𝟎𝟔 ~ 𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒂𝒓𝒅

WARNING

This chapter contains descriptive themes of self harm. It is very possible it will be triggering to some. Reader discretion is advised.

"You're one of the dumbest people I have ever fucking met."

Mara groaned into her hands, burying her face into Theo's shoulder. Embarrassment flooding through her veins.

Lilith, Pansy and Mattheo sit across from Mara, Elijah and Theo. Lilith chuckles at her embarrassment. Pansy, outraged that Mara let such a once in a life time opportunity go to waste, dramatically shoves her finger into Maras face, "How could you ever, EVER walk out on Draco fucking Malfoy."

"It was just too weird to go back and pretend like his friend didn't just walk in and see his mate with his fingers inside me."

Elijah, Mattheo and Theo all scrunch up their faces, trying not to picture their best friend with Draco Malfoy.

"Thanks for putting that image in my head there love." Theo said smiling sarcastically at Mara and ruffling her hair. Mara scoffed and swatted his hand away, before grabbing it and throwing his arm around her shoulders. She leaned against Theo's chest, looking out the window.

As the group returned to their small talk, Theo entered Maras head.

"Are you alright love?" he asks gently.

Mara, too exhausted to respond verbally, shakes her head. She feels Theo sigh and begin to comb his fingers through her hair softly, trying to sooth her. As if he was reading her thoughts he tries to reassure her, "You know ill be there with you through it all right?"

"I know." She pauses. "...Im terrified of getting it."

Theo doesn't respond for a while. He continues to comb her hair, trying to think of the right thing to say. "I wont let him hurt you Mara... I wont. I promise you." He says, unsure of who hes trying to reassure more, Mara or himself.

Mara tries to let Theo reassure her, although they both know that The Dark Lord takes what he pleases, and no one can stop him.

Mara moves her legs to rest across Theo's lap, basically curling into a ball on his chest. Mara and Theo weren't always as close as they are now. Yes, they loved and cared for each other as they've been friends for years but it was nothing like now.

During their sixth year, Mara had been quietly struggling with her mental health for quite awhile, her coping mechanisms were in no way healthy, but Mara couldnt stop. It was her escape, and she became addicted to cutting, partying, smoking and sleeping her problems away. Until one night, just like any other, she had needed an escape from her head, although, she was at one of her lowest points she had been in a while, so she told her friends she wanted to go clubbing. They apparated out of school and went to a muggle club in London.

As they were partying, Mara looked around at her loving group of friends, all smiling, laughing and dancing and it just hit Mara.

I felt this emptiness in my stomach that still managed to weigh a thousand pounds.

I felt my body sinking into the floor, I felt like the floor. and I couldn't move.

Like shackles on my ankles and my throat and my forearms and any other body part you could think of. I couldn't breathe and I needed to just fucking breathe.

She rushed into the washroom and locked the door. She ran her hands through her hair and pulled, pacing back and fourth. She couldn't breathe, she couldn't think, all she felt was the darkness.

Mara looked up into the mirror and froze. She'd been purposefully avoiding mirrors for as long as she could remember, she hadn't properly seen herself in ages.

Her lips started to quiver and she felt disgust running through her veins, she screamed and started banging on the mirror. She hit and hit and hit and hit until it physically hurt her. The mirror smashed around her as she fell to her knees, sobbing.

She grabbed a shard of glass and stared at it. She stared at it for a while, occasionally hiccuping from her sobbing. She felt her forearm taunting her as if it was almost speaking to her, saying do it, give in. I want to feel it as deep as the bone. She knew it was wrong but she didn't care. Mara cut deeply along her forearm as she winced. Blood began to seep out of the wound and onto the floor. Her thoughts were so intrusive, screaming at her to do it deeper and harder.

She curled into a ball against the wall and just stared into nothing. She hadn't heard the door unlocking. And she barley heard Theo's gasp.

Theo rushed to his knees and pulled Mara into his lap, as he rocked them back and fourth and was quietly murmuring healing spells as the tip of his wand was pressed against the wound.

Mara faintly looked up into his eyes and noticed the tears streaming down his cheeks and his lips quivering as he tried to keep composed, for her.

After he closed the wound he pulled Mara tighter against him and rocked her back and fourth in his arms, continuously murmuring sweet nothing into her hair as he rubbed his bloody hand along her cheek, trying to ground himself.

Mara tried to thank him, tried to apologize but nothing came out, she just felt numb. So she closed her eyes and let the darkness take over her body.

Elijah nudged her arm as the train came to a stop, she and Theo had fallen asleep together. She lightly smiled and mumbled a quick thanks as he got up and left them in the cart. The rest of the group had already left, as they were quite used to Mara and Theodore's close relationship.

"Theo, wake up darling we're here." She quietly murmured as she pushed back his hair. His eyes fluttered open and he smiled.

"To the food!" he exclaimed as he stood up and threw Mara over his shoulder. She laughed and squealed as he picked her up. "Let. me. down. you. troll." She said as she smacked his back after each word.

"You're doing that as if I don't have the most voluptuous arse to smack right beside my face." Theo smirked as he felt her still.

"Arsehole."

Theo chuckled and gently put Mara back down onto the ground.

"To a new year and a fresh start love" he said as he grabbed Maras hand and placed a chaste kiss to the back of it. She giggled and swatted him away, as they made they're way to the group.