The Preposterous

Prologue

" Solaris " 

My mother called with her honey voice. She is the finest woman I have ever seen, with beauty and grace, wisdom and brilliance.  

I ran into my mother's arms. 

" Mother, why did you name me Solaris? " 

" It was the divinity who named you. It means originated from the sun ", She said. Each of the words coming out from her perfectly arched lips, sounded like a song. 

" What does that mean, mother?" 

" It means, you are a part of the sun ", my mother smiled. Her beautiful face glowed brighter than the sun. For me, my mother was the sun. And I was a part of her. 

My mothers face darkened, like the clouds hiding the mighty sun, and chaos arose. I looked at her in surprise. I wanted to turn and look at what shadowed my mother's face. But, she put her hand infront of my eyes, forcing me to shut my eyes down. She brought her lips to my ear and whispered, 

" You will fall, Solaris. And after you fall, run. No matter what, do not open your eyes" 

" Mother, will you be there to guide me? "

" I will be there as soon as I can, sweetie " 

" I will wait for you then " 

" Promise me, you won't open your eyes till you find warmth. Promise me sweetheart "

" How will I know, if it is warm? " 

" The Highest God will guide you. He is the only one you must believe. I have to go now sweetie. Promise me "

" I promise, mother " 

And I fell. I fell and started running, as soon as I stopped falling. I ran till I found something warm. I found fire. The highest God guided me.  The fire I found kept burning everything, but me, consuming each living soul, till it reached my mother, and a beautiful man with dark green eyes and black hair. The fire split as I approached my mother and that man. I saw that man smiling at me. He looks kind. I smiled and reached out to hold his hand. He took my hand, and in a second, his hand started to burn. The fire consumed the three of us. 

I woke up as the sunrays fell on my face. The same dream. I have been having the same dream, for as long as I can remember. 

'What a terrible dream!' I thought and immediately bit my tongue. I am supposed to be grateful for everything. When we were little, we were taught not to complain about anything. That is the first rule of becoming a devotee. And now that I am a high priestess, I have to keep myself in check from worldly emotions. I have devoted my entire life to the highest God Aperantos. He is the one who guide us. He is the one who blessed me with the sun. 

I sat up and said my morning prayers. I thanked Aperantos for everything he has given, for the life we have and the food we eat. And I prayed for all the lost souls on earth. I am not supposed to pray for myself. That is self indulgence, a worldly trait. I have abandoned them long before. 

I am in charge of the west wing of the coenobium. I walked around and opened the doors, and then woke the kids up. They will be the future priests and priestesses of the coenobium. They need proper guidance to the path of God. I wore my long plain grey one piece tunic, that covered me from my neck to my toe. We are not to reveal our body or desire anyone. For our body, soul and mind all belong to Aperantos.. We are to protect ourselves.  

I took my breakfast, a bowl of plain porridge. We are not to indulge in any worldly satisfaction. After the same routine of morning classes and prayers, meditations, rules, history classes, to teaching girls how they have to protect themselves, dinner and sending everyone back to sleep, I went into my room. It is more like a cubicle, identical to all the other rooms in the coenobium. The only colorful thing in my room is red ear ring, that I framed and put up on the wall. It has been with me, for as long as I can remember. a red swirl inside a red stone shaped like fire. I have always wanted to know, why did the coenobiums and priests assumed that, to be the fire's shape? Fire does not have any shape though. I bit my tongue again. I am not supposed to be curious. Curiosity gives rise to evil and takes up unnecessary space in mind. It makes us polluted. We are to stay away from curiosity.