Change ☆DC Stargirl • Yolanda Montez (II)

Twenty-Nine

Freya's POV:

"So, your friend tells me you're quitting the team." I look away from the Buick as Doctor Mid-Nite takes a seat next to me on the steps. "Care to explain why?"

I fiddle with my fingers. "All I do is ruin everything." I mutter.

"I highly doubt that."

"Really?" I scoff. "Everything that Eclipso has shown me is painful reminders of the things I've done in the past. I-I hurt strangers, my friends, people who I considered my family. I killed people for--"

"The Injustice Society." He interrupted, causing my eyes to widen slightly. "I overheard and caught glimpses of what Eclipso told you as I tried to look for you. When I grabbed you...you were almost consumed by the darkness."

I shake my head with disbelief. "Of course I was."

"It helps to talk about it, you know?" He gently suggested with a small smile. "What did he show you?"

My heart sinks at the question and I take a deep breath to ease my nerves. "When I was thirteen, some goons abducted me because...I assassinated some people associated with them for Jordan."

"For how long?"

I dryly shrug. "Almost a year. They knew some kid couldn't have a strong vendetta to kill their allies so they wanted me to spill who sent me." I whisper. "I endured whatever torture they did to me. Being tied with barbed wire, getting hit with crowbars, electrocuted with stun guns, anything to get me to say something but...I never did. All I hoped for was some sort of miracle that Jordan or whoever in the Injustice Society would save me because to me, there was no way they couldn't have noticed. There was no way they didn't send out search parties. Jordan needed me but--"

"He never sent them." He concluded, causing me to slowly nod. "But how did you escape?"

"It's a bit of a blur but somehow I got out of there." I stretch out my fingers a bit which earned a small crack. "I think you can assume what happened as soon as I went back to them."

"I'm so sorry, Freya."

I shake my head. "Maybe it's for the best that I'm stuck here." I muttered, bringing my knees close to my chest. "I'm pretty sure that changes the way you see me. Maybe you should've left me back there, Doctor Mid-Nite."

"I don't regret pulling you out of there, Freya. You're still that curious kind-hearted kid to me and nobody will change that." He confidently states, causing my eyes to widen. "And if it makes a difference, I wasn't the one who pulled you out of the darkness. The amulet around your neck did. Whether it was your father or Nabu, they still protected you."

"I don't think I deserve to have it. Not after all the things I've done. Doctor Fate should be someone that's always been good." I look up, expecting to meet his disappointed expression but his expression never wavered. "What?"

"It's just...your father and I had a similar conversation about this." He explained. "I wasn't there when the JSA went after Bruce Gordon since I made a vow to never take a life, but Kent came over to my place to talk about how he felt about the situation since it messed with what he truly stood for as a hero."

"Really?"

He nods. "He never wanted to murder Bruce Gordon but when it came down to the safety of your mother, he realized he would do whatever it takes to protect her. Even if it meant putting his life on the line." I guiltily glance down at my hands. "I know it hurts to live with the truth that he's gone, but I learned that you have to accept it and there's nothing you could have done about it."

"And my friends?" I softly ask.

"Show them that you're never going anywhere. Never let them go." He assured with a smile. "If your parents hadn't checked in with my family now and then at the time, I don't think I would be where I am today if he hadn't shown me to use my daughter's death as a reason to keep fighting instead of blaming myself. Even if it hurts."