in another life. (Bokuaka)

chapter 37

Akaashi couldn't find any words to say at that moment. He stared at Bokuto and could only nod with whatever it was he thought he was agreeing with. He felt as if all the air had been squeezed out of his body by the words that Bokuto had spoken.

Of all the things that Bokuto found most endearing of the movie, Akaashi never thought it would be that.

Managing a miserable smile, Akaashi roughly rubbed his palm with his thumb.

"You know... I would like that. Very much." He spoke gently in Bokuto's direction.

"Me too..." Bokuto's eyes never left Akaashi. He stared at him intently and watched every move he made, to the point where this had captured Akaashi's attention.

"Why do you watch me like that?" His emerald eyes met golden ones.

Though the question was asked clearly, Bokuto didn't make a sound, nor did he move. He instead continued to stare in Akaashi's direction with hopeful eyes.

After what felt like the longest ten seconds of his life, a sudden shudder charged down Akaashi's spine, causing goose bumps to rise on his flesh. He held his breath, then proceeded to ask again.

"Koutarou... Why do you watch me like that?" It took every fiber of his being to keep his voice from trembling.

It was then that Bokuto's eyes blinked in realization, and slowly but surely, he moved his lips to answer.

"Just... Because..." He replied in what almost sounded like a surprised tone. "I didn't... Want you to leave. Sometimes when I... blink... you aren't there anymore..." Bokuto rubbed one of his eyes, then the other, and let his hand drop to his sides.

Akaashi tried to hide his frown. His eyes looked down at Bokuto's hands. They were thin and bony, and he could see those smooth blue veins curling over the bones beneath his flesh.

He reached a hand out and took Bokuto's hand in his own.

Bokuto's automatic reaction to the warmth was to curl his fingers around Akaashi's grasp. He looked at him and exhaled through his nose quietly.

Akaashi met his gaze, then looked down.

"Don't worry. I'm still here."

Bokuto nodded feebly against his pillow.

"I'm still... Here too..." His voice was weaker than before, if possible.

Akaashi nodded, with him.

"Yeah. You're still here, too..."

With what little strength he had left, Bokuto beamed.

Akaashi wished he could do the same.