Cloudy Skies

ONE

I woke up just as Peggy's projectile voice echoed through the halls. "Rise and shine, kiddos!" she said, same as every morning, aside from the occasional variation. My head tilted back automatically, and I sensed it before I saw it, the cloud.

This menacing, ugly coagulation of water vapour has been following me around for 2 years, three months and 28 days, and it has never taken a day off, not once. At first it was confusing, seeing a greyish blob constantly floating above me, but after doing some research, I figured out what it was; depression.

Today the cloud looked particularly large, and as I registered it's presence, I felt my heart sink, like it was being dragged by an anchor to the bottom of the ocean. I reached to my side and felt for my phone, the screen immediately lighting up and blinding me. Nothing special, just a few routine notifications from BBC News, Spotify and a message from Vodafone reminding me to top up my credit - Peggy forbade social media, said it was 'the single-most destructive invention of the 21st century.' Then I noticed the day - Monday - and my heart sank that little bit further.

"C'mon sleepy head, everyone's already brushing their teeth." Paul said as he walked into my room and opened the blinds, the floor boards creaking with every step he took. Natural light streamed through my windows and illuminated every surface. I replied with 'I'm coming' but it came out as a half-groan, and whether he understood me or not, he left.

I rolled to my right and stood up, but my weight caused me to stumble slightly. It felt like gravity was crushing me, rather than just keeping me on the ground, but I made it to the bathroom nevertheless.

Audrey and Georgie were already in there, scrubbing their toothbrushes back and forth in unison. I shuffled past them and grabbed my toothbrush, but then I realised it wasn't there.

"Where's my toothbrush." I asked the girls sternly. When they replied with giggles, I just knew they'd done something.

"There." They pointed, before I had a chance to prompt again.

I followed their fingers to the toilet, where there, floating innocently in the toilet bowl water, was my toothbrush.

"For God sake." I muttered under my breath, before picking it up between my forefinger and thumb and chucking it in the bin.

"Sorry, it dropped." Audrey explained, but it wouldn't take a detective to figure out she was lying. Audrey and Georgie have this life goal to make my life miserable. It's like built in their DNA to pick on me. But why should I care? They're only 9 and 10.

The sweet aroma of waffles and pancakes diffused through the corridor, but the first thought that popped into my head was whether Paul and Peggy had made anything else for breakfast, because I'd bought this really nice dress to wear to Alice's party but it doesn't fit me. Yet. And if I do want it to fit me it means no carbs for the next month or so. I don't mind too much though, I've never been a huge fan of eating.

I joined everyone at the dining table. It was a long, beechwood table with benches instead of chairs to accommodate my huge household. Omar, Jasper, Henry and Manuel sat along one bench, and Audrey, Georgie and Lisa sat on the other. I plonked myself at the end of the girls' bench next to Lisa, who was the most dignified person to eat next to, and would prevent me from walking away covered in powdered sugar and maple syrup. To the right of me was Paul, who was at the head of the table, with Peggy at the other end. This was the usual mealtime set-up.

"How y'doin' Kayleigh?" Paul asked with a grin. He set his knife and fork down which suggested he wanted to have a conversation. Great.

"I'm alright." I said "Hungry." I hoped by me telling him I was hungry, he would leave me alone.

"That's great, cause we have waffles and pancakes and toast, and there's loads of toppings you can put on them too--"

"Erm, I think I'll just have some porridge."

"Sure, if you like. Peggs, do you mind making Kayleigh some porridge?"

"No, it's fine, I can make it myself." I got up before he could oppose, and I grabbed the box of oats from the top left cupboard. It wasn't even proper supermarket oats - it's the one the council supplies in bulk when they deliver their weekly food bundle. I poured them into a bowl and sloshed some milk with it, then placed it in the microwave and waited three minutes.

I stared though the speckled screen, watching my bowl spin round and round and round. Sometimes my life felt like this, just spinning round and round, going through the motions and feelings and circumstances. Everything was just one, meaningless hum, just like the monotonous humming of the microwave. Sometimes I felt so numb, so empty, so tired of this merry-go-round of a life, I just wanted to feel something. To feel anything. My body is just hollow, like a shell with no feelings, and it's these thoughts that make me want to curl up in a ball and disappear.

Ding!

The chime of the microwave signalled my porridge was ready, so I carefully picked up the scorching hot bowl and brought it out. I got some milk from the fridge and poured some more in to cool it down, then grabbed a spoon and shoved a load of the lumpy substance into my mouth. I actually hated porridge, in fact, but for the sake of Alice's party, I had to suffer. I just hated the gloopy, sticky, oozy texture of porridge. It was like having slug slime in your mouth. Or rice pudding that's gone off. The lack of any taste or sweetness was repulsive to me, and as I forced the goop down my throat, I felt my gag reflex kick in. Nope, nope, stay down, stay down. I thought. Think about the dress, the dress, the dress.

I brought my bowl to the table, and, many revolting mouthfuls later, an empty bowl stared back at me. Success. As the saying goes, no pain, no gain. When I went back upstairs to change I had a slight spring in my step, but it didn't last for long, for the thought of school, my '"family", and just life in general came back to me. As I wrapped my red and yellow checkered tie around my neck, which was truly an eye-sore, the dread of school overshadowed me like my cloud does. I just don't get how people aren't bothered by the whole 'being trapped in a building against your will for six hours with 1499 other kids' situation.

Then came the usual morning rush. I honestly don't know how Peggy and Paul put up with the younger ones because they are a true nightmare in the morning. But alas, everyone was ready, and we all bundled into our 10-seater minibus. Peggy and Paul insisted on all of us staying at our old schools when we were put into their care, which meant driving to 6 different schools in the morning, with the exceptions being Omar and Jasper, who are brothers, and Lisa, who takes her school bus.

The littles were all gleaming as the vehicle crawled out of the garage; they adored school. But I only frowned, because it was basically prison.