Love is pain

Camellia

07/09/21

Dear diary, today, 07/09/21, it's Edward birthday. I am going to offer him flowers: Camellia, it means admiration, eternal love and perfect beauty. I hope he'll like it.

08/09/21

Dear Diary, I don't think he likes me... I don't think he'll ever like me back. When I gave him flowers he just threw them away and said:
F̶l̶o̶w̶e̶r̶s̶?̶ ̶Y̶o̶u̶ ̶g̶i̶v̶e̶ ̶m̶e̶ ̶f̶l̶o̶w̶e̶r̶s̶ ̶f̶o̶r̶ ̶m̶y̶ ̶b̶i̶r̶t̶h̶d̶a̶y̶?̶ ̶P̶f̶f̶,̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶l̶o̶v̶e̶ ̶m̶e̶ ̶o̶r̶ ̶s̶o̶m̶e̶t̶h̶i̶n̶g̶?̶ ̶T̶h̶a̶t̶'̶s̶ ̶p̶a̶t̶h̶e̶t̶i̶c̶ ̶!̶

I don't know what to do... he was my world, he IS my world... But what can I do if my world reject me...

13/09/21

Dear Diary, My chest is hurting... Is it because of my heartbroken? Or is it just because I am sad? I never felt that in my life. I am just a teenager... I don't know anything about life anyway.

14/09/21

Dear Diary, when I waked up this morning I threw up. But... it wasn't something normal... I threw up petals and seeds... I don't understand... It's not like I ever understood a thing...

16/09/21

Don't panic, don't panic, don't panic... DON'T PANIC! Dear Diary, the whole school knows about my love for Edward... they're all making fun of me... I ended up crying in the school bathroom... The worst part is flowers starts coming out of my throat! It's hurting my lungs and I can't breathe!

19/09/21

Dear Diary, I stayed home today. When I came out of my sleep the pain in my chest was unbearable and I couldn't breathe, so I ran to my window, open it and try to inhale the most of air I could. It did nothing, I had to force myself to threw up to free my lungs. I never felt that liberated.

25/09/21

Dear Diary, the pain grow everyday, it's hurting me. I think it's because of my love for Edward, god I wish I never fell in love with him... when I went to the Doctor he said I had nothing and it must have been by the stress that Edward don't like me  back. And when I showed him the camellia I trew up the very last morning he laughed and said I had a great imagination. But I know I don't have a long time to live.

30/09/21

Dear Diary, I am going to die this evening. I know it's for today. I barely can't breathe and move: the less oxygen I got can't go in all of my body and I suffocate in the flowers I threw up. This is the end, I know it.

I am gonna die because I dared love someone who didn't like me back, and the worst part of it: I don't have any regrets.

I will always like you, Edward.

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Hi! Hope you liked this chapter! I never knew the hanahaki before my friend lune_declair told me about it. I found it really interesting so I decide to write about it. Tell me if you liked it!